DotA perspectives

In House...

2012-01-30T02:14:00.003+08:00

I miss the past. I often make my mind live in it, because what you force yourself to think is probably what you perceive in reality, but it's this distorted and disillusioned reality that we live in. There were great and horrible times back in VS, ups and downs... I think so much more memorable than JC (but JC will be memorable in time to come I guess) whatever way I look at it. I miss everything... I really do T_T. But living in the past is like living in another realm that does not exist anymore. That moment of space and time have decayed for renewal of new ones, and I think it would do no good to pity myself for the things I wished I had done.

I have not treasured the past when it was not the present, and I am not treasuring the present like it is the past. I think that is horrible, cos I will live to regret if I have not lived my life to the fullest, if I have not loved to the fullest, if I have not enjoyed my life to the fullest. I say this at a point where I'm moving to my next point in life - NS, and then university hopefully, then a job. I definitely will live to see another day, I definitely will seize the day and make my life a memorable one - one that when I look back to my memories I would nod my head and smile peacefully hahaha. Even in a worse case scenario (WCS) where I totally have nobody to support me, I will redo my life and make it successful again, especially when I often complain of neglecting friends and losing them and blah³.

Anyway, in the great Channel 8 show, WCS is also dubbed as the gang name called "WE CAN SURVIVE". LOL coincidence much?

One thing I truly miss in 2009 was the DotA in houses we had. We need not be pro or too serious, just playing, chilling and having fun. And in 2010, 2008, 2007, 2006 as well. All our in-houses, pubs, LAN sessions, whatever. I loved all the games we played, I even saved some as replays. Now as I look back upon the games we have played, I just look upon ourselves like childish individuals having lots of fun, throwing lots of tantrums, not thinking about tomorrow, carefree, playing every Thursday and Friday (with my forceful smses hahaha). And even long before that it was many many people doing the job as well... everyone that had made it a success.

Now that we have moved along, now that we may no longer be good friends as we used to... I can only look at these replays in amusement... hahaha.

Another thing I missed is those soccer matches among our NP squad. I would never think I would miss them now. I'm like cursing and swearing at my noobie skills right here at this computer 2 years ago, and now I'm missing it. Humans are strange- I bet I will miss BMT soon enough when all this hell is over. Anyway, we all just went down to play soccer regardless of our skills, and I was some real noob there. But since there were so many noobs there as well- all my good friends- it was so fun hahahaha. Just anyhow kicking and defending the goalpost, while we watch our true talents kick the ball to the other side. It's like DotA as well- the pros all go up and initiate and the rest of us support. At the same time, I developed this sense of sympathy for newcomers in any game when I played soccer... everyone always has to start somewhere. I hope people do understand that I'm a slow learner in BMT...

And anyway, we will eat Ban Mian as a squad. Over and over and over again. On Friday. Gotta get down on Friday~ I guess we didn't understand the significance of living these times only once in the period of our lives. And we always had this compromise to play both DotA and soccer on Friday. I love our squad :O even if I'm hella irritating and talk irrelevant stuff they always compromise, we quarreled many times but we're mostly okay.

I miss my sec school classes too. Both of them. I just can't pen everything down here right now.

Anyway, I went out with most of my groups of friends already, I don't really know how much they care about me though but regardless there's no regretz :)

Bah... it's so late again, I'm once again spewing a cocktail of intensive English words on cyberspace. I go and sleep le. Goodnite. I wish all my dear friends (reading or not reading this) a great time at BMT :) take care all of you. Hopefully can see you soon and pls rmb me lolol.

Random song- Dust Raiders from my favourite game when I was 6- DX Ball Game 2
Great electro music for such a deceptively simple music. This must have shaped my love for all things electro and techno ^^

Face The Wrath

2012-01-29T03:42:00.001+08:00

Sorry I'm so bored.. and I treasure my midnights so much, I had to do this.

You're awesome if you understand it... if none of you do... then I suck I guess.

Superhero

2012-01-28T12:13:00.010+08:00

Well this would be a very lame post... in short it's just me flying around (or swimming, as you would later understand) my entire neighbourhood in a dream, meeting countless people on the ground who did not at all seem perplexed by a huge figure moving above their heads.

Before I start, I would like to say it's strange... because in these days of clueless anxiety and sian feeling, I would think that I could only have bad dreams about my life. Well, in fact I have. I had one really stupid dream about going into army, and then the whole ride to the place was so sian, when I reached there there was a huge amount of people walking to this horrible narrow walkway in between a large rainforest right beside the main road. There were young man wearing those pixelated uniforms, carrying their pixelated bags, and some were dressed in casual army attire jogging... and I had to enter into the "abyss" of the rainforest where I would be physically and mentally tormented. Ok that's where it ended - I hope it stays a dream as it is because there's always this exaggeration factor about dreams.

Going back to my good dream, I was in a shopping centre with my family and a few of my good friends were also known to be walking around there as well. There was A LOT of people there- I remember looking around and seeing a decent number of colourful shops, but I wonder why were there SO MUCH people. Perhaps there was some carnival going around. Well to make my dream more coherent, I think it was a really huge event set in the future where a selected few will be given superpowers and those who wanted a chance to receive them had to be in the vicinity of this huge shopping centre. There's probably a scientific method to make people have these superpowers in the future...

Anyway, the shopping centre resembles Nex imo, probably because my mind uses existing memories, and outside the shopping centre there were many flats, a large swimming pool, a beautiful park and many roads... it felt like a mix of the neighbourhood in reality and the SimCity that I have created. Dreams are weird. There was a staggering crowd as well, and thinking about it, it must have been the huge WP rally in Serangoon Stadium that attracted 30000 people (including my curious mum and me) that stimulated this dream... it was just crazy... it's like those legalized Occupy Wall Street Movement that can only be held once per 5 years here.

The park beside the shopping centre was brilliant, it was perfectly designed with a variety of beautiful trees, shrubs, running tracks, empty spaces, wooden benches and tables, plus grand yellow lights that illuminate the area at night. Was it the A level GP comprehension that subconsciously created this dream?

Anyway, to cut the crap short, I think I separated with my family to walk alone in the shopping centre. It's pretty chill actually... and the thing is, I didn't even think I would win any superpower of sorts. I don't know it's a dream so I treated it very seriously... but I could possibly ,with some luck, see people flaunting their superpowers; that would be absolutely cool.

After walking around aimlessly for a while in the crowded shopping centre with no indications of anything happening, I just randomly put my hands in my pocket like I always do. Besides my wallet, I found this pretty small crumbled and rolled up piece of white paper. I unraveled it to read the following:

"Congratulations! You have been granted the supernatural ability to "fly". It's all in the mind- just channel your mind to focus on the concept of flying to be granted the ability to do so."

This part felt like the numbing moment when I saw my name on the screen on prom night- I had won an expensive wallet. I didn't even think about it, no inkling that I have to go up on stage in front of everyone just to take the prize. However, it felt a lot more drastic than that, I was thinking, is this a prank? How could I possibly gain this superpower if I did not even do anything significant in my life, or feel my body changing or anything. I really didn't know what to expect.

I walked out of the shopping centre and the crowd was still there, no one had an inkling of what happened. I don't think they even realized my newly found powers (in my dreams) hahaha. And no one has been seen flaunting their powers, if any. However, the event was pretty mysterious, no one knew how they chose the lucky individuals, or how many people would be chosen. So with this ecstatic but yet cautious mood, I slowed my breath and walked out calmly out of the area.

I walked to some low level HDB flats nearby where it was pretty deserted. "How do I start trying my power?" I thought. I attempted to make a jump to the heavens. It didn't even reach the 2nd floor. Horrible. "Is this a dream?" I thought (it was... but yeah I didn't know lol). After a few frantically stupid jumps, I decided to try it differently. I remember what the note said- it's all in the mind. Hence, I closed my eyes, and instinctly, I flapped my hands like a bird- a bit retarded but yeah. Slowly, I began to believe I could really FLY. Fly, fly, fly; my brain thought.

I opened my eyes briefly... I couldn't believe it! I would halfway up in the sky, looking directly at eye level at the 2nd floor, where all the potted plants are placed along the corridors. With this instantaneous boost of confidence, I distilled my thoughts and flapped my hands harder. Gradually but surely, I flew higher up! As stupid as it seems, I became so confident that I flapped my hands really high- I reached as high as those 12 storey HDB flats. However, something in my brain hinted to me that something was amiss...

It turns out that I can estimate the reserves I have for flying... so when I went so high up, my reserves depleted, and I began to fall, quicker and quicker towards the cold hard ground. Panicking, I channelled my reserves of energy to slow down my descent and create a powerful upward thrust. But it was of no use. I slowed down gradually- but still I fell quickly, 8- 7- 6-- 5-- 4--- 3---- 2----- thud!!!

It was pretty pain, my ribs hurt like hell. Amazing for a dream I would say- it just shows that the brain is responsible for everything that we perceive, including pain, and this reality that surrounds our body. But I survived. That was the astonishing part, I was so happy that I am able to fly LOL.

I think I woke up at this time and realized it was all just a dream :(( but because it was such a nice dream in years I literally just pushed myself back to sleep and continue dreaming/hallucinating.

With some practice, I gradually learned how to control my movements on air and had more confidence in myself. With some mental practice I was able to make myself stay in flight for a longer period of time. To prevent myself from draining out of mental power I flew at a lower height. It was for safety reasons as well.

I flew across the neighbourhood, looking at the herds of people right below my body, cars rushing to and fro. I was just like a bird! Flying through the shopping centre, flying through the shorter HDB flats, flying through the park and the swimming pool that I have described earlier. Along the way I met some familiar people, some of which I never really talk to any more. I was like so happy at that moment because I had this special power that no one had, and I was special and different from everyone. Even if I feel sad and whatever, I could still chill around in the air, and perhaps even flaunt my superpower to my friends. The strange thing is, no one reacted to me as I flew across them. Strange... maybe I was invisible when I was in the air??

However, I didn't really fly like a bird, I was literally swimming across the air. It felt absolutely wonderful and chill. I was doing breaststroke across the skies because my freestyle sucked. Amazingly, I would never fall to the ground. I looked down and I realized I was travelling as fast as the cars moving parallel to my direction.

And then the dream collapsed. Just like how Inception worked... there was no music though, it was just these flying images becoming less real and tangible, and then I opened my eyes slowly as I heard my morning call from my mother.

The End.

If you like to read about retarded dreams, please find the one on the right hand side (the blue toolbar) where I have another weird dream to share :)

Here's one of my fav songs, Superhero by Chingy (electro-pop)

The dream provided me with some instant relief from all my sianness and stuff. Which was awesome. This type of reality will never come again. As stupid as my dream seems, I was extremely ecstatic inside the dream- thinking it was real and finally I had some "true meaning" to life. Hahaha! Other than the relief provided by this dream, I thought of another significance here.

The brain is such a powerful organ- it perceives your reality, that if there was some technology to change your brainwaves or stuff to delve you into another world, you would probably believe it. Then everyone could have their own superpowers and enjoy being a different self that they really enjoy in this new world. It could even be the future era computer games, where you truly feel and live in the game as a true powerful protagonist with special abilities. And you could play not only in single player mode, but with other people as well.

However, sidetracking quite a bit, while I envision a brighter future, I'm always concerned about these advances in technology. Even though I fear of a world of technology that is used to monitor and control all of us, this remote possibility has been more than vanquished by the proliferation of the Internet and the social media. However, with huge powerful corporations pulling their strings and power, and politicians that often displease us by doing undemocratic decisions, it seems that the future of Internet and the real world is at stake with all those talks of signing SOPA and stuff. In Singapore, a blow has already been dealt as it has signed the ACTA. You can go watch YouTube videos about them, the one with the most views are very informative- you should do so before they are no longer there hahaha.

In our real life, we are gradually losing our privacy, consciously or unconsciously. Even as I blog, I'm losing my privacy as I write about my life and share it to unknowing strangers and friends alike who either read it for entertainment, sympathy, or a heck care attitude. On Facebook and Twitter, we ramble on and on, letting our mutual friends look at all the conversations that would have been kept private if it was done in real life. Our emails are often checked whether we like it or not for illegal file sharing and for keywords that may indicate that we are spamming people.

Sometimes we feel so helpless in the flow of events, we must adapt and get used to it. I guess that's just life is. Yes, that includes army.

Numbered days

2012-01-28T03:20:00.002+08:00

Life feels so short haixxxxx.... I really don't know what to write here anymore. I can feel an emptiness in my life, the loneliness even after spending time with my good friends and all (ok la I can't say I'm damn close to them or anything). Seems like I have to deal with it alone. Everyone seems so prepared and stuff.

What should I do? I treasure my quiet nights alone these days...

新年快乐!

2012-01-24T02:56:00.003+08:00

On a sidenote, if SOPA really gets through... my blog is likely to be banned :X because I use so many random images from Google with no harm at all. It's just for the visual effect and imagery... stay vigilant everyone. The world is so screwed and yet we must stay strong...

Quote from Vigilant Citizen article:

I am not a fan of big, over-the-top statements, but it is safe to say that the future of the internet is currently being decided. Will it remain a haven of free speech or will it become another tool of governmental and corporate control? A “fight for the internet” is taking place. On January 19th, the FBI shut down the popular file sharing site Megaupload while anti-SOPA protests took to the streets and the world wide web (you might have noticed that Wikipedia’s blackout). In case you didn’t know, SOPA and PIPA give the US government unprecedented authority to shut down websites without prior notice (see the article I published about SOPA back in November for more information).

Seeing that an overwhelming majority of internet users oppose this legislation and that its potential enactment has caused nothing less than a major uproar in the internet world, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid used an old trick: He postponed the vote for SOPA, which was scheduled for January 24th, to a later date, hoping that the negative publicity surrounding the vote would die down. As you know, voting for ridiculous law in a context of general indifference is the elite’s favorite way of proceeding. It is up to us to stay vigilant, to not forget about this awful piece of legislation and to make sure our voices are heard until SOPA and PIPA are thrown in the garbage – where they belong.

---End---

Anyway, I feel so lazy~ 3am haven't sleep... spending my last days at home alone before I head into the abyss with many others. I think I have always been lonely, alone by the night, chilling alone. The night belongs to me- at least in my house. Not a bad thing actually. 10 years on I might not be so lonely anymore. Then I will laugh at myself for writing all this. Or maybe I would... :(((( but in any case, at least I bravely endured through my life. Anyway, I respect people with a strong will to live no matter how shit their life is. My life is peaceful, serene- idk how army will be like... listened to my brother and my cousin talk all day about army, and of course, this pretty funny and yet motivational video about NS below.

Not exactly a fan of him, but this video just captivated me... respect those people for knowing what they wanna do in their life (like him above). People like Amos talking in a fake English accent don't know what they wanna do, YouTube is not his thing... he should go study and not offend people. And of course there are many notoriously famous people too - like Steven Lim... he brings lots of criticism and I must say he's retarded but I applaud him for being the brave soul that he is. Then there is this teenager Electric guy, this funny ah beng guy and so on which have their own styles. All quite decent. Oh and our famous Mr Brown who spoofs all of them hahaha and does random stuff.

I think I must find my own way of life... my purpose... finding my breadcrumbs like how the book "live like a fruitfly" taught me. I don't even know what I wanna take as a course in the future- Engineering? Accountancy? Business? All these courses sounds foreign to me... i wonder if I will regret taking anything wrong next time. I think it's also because I haven't really research deep into it.

Anyway, I feel overwhelmed and lost in this plethora of choices I have. On one hand, there's interest, then there's the reality of results you get, then there's practicality, convenience, and of course- parents influence you too more so than friends in my case. Like how my parents urge me to study local. Argh. You know what? I dream of being a trance music producer or even a breakdancer. That would be so cool; I would meet many people with my interests, impress others and live my dream- I bet all of you have dreams like that too. It's just that... it's not practical. Like how my friend wants to be a hotel inspector or something and yet this type of coveted job is hard to find.

Blah.. idk what to write anymore... so boring right this post. Perhaps I envy my fish in my fishtank - so carefree and chilling around with their buddies. Just that it gets boring.

Anw I made this wtf graph here with my graph program - so bored right.

Chilling with this trance tune below. Cos pop is too mainstream for me. Jk, but its been a while since I appreciated true music on the radio, because all the teen pop music wave have crashed like a tsunami across the world... destroying all the remnants of good music left... sigh...

My support of anti-SOPA

2012-01-22T18:26:00.002+08:00

Go and read up about SOPA!!

From theOatmeal.com which in turn found out from mrbrown.com. Succinct, cute but yet cutting to the point.

Snow (Hey Oh)

2012-01-22T00:55:00.003+08:00

The city lights glistened like fireflies in the night sky. Tall, large skyscrapers loomed over scuttling pedestrians in the heart of Tokyo. In a far distance, the Tokyo Tower is seen bathed in brilliant gold lighting. Speckles of snow fell down heartlessly on anyone caught on the streets; it was a freezing -2 Celsius. On the dull gray walkway were a father and his daughter, the father was in his sixties and the daughter in her twenties. Both of them briskly walked through the relentless weather.

The father had a receding hairline and his greyish hair occasionally caught some snowflakes which in turn reflected some of the crimson and green lights from the neon light advertisements. He wore a thick maroon coat and greasy jeans. The black leather boots hit the floor with a resonating thud now and then as he walked. His black pupils glistened with wisdom; it was there was a limitless horizon in his boundless mind.

The daughter on the other hand, had beautiful ochre hair covered in a navy blue cape, coupled with a brown jacket and black long pairs. Her face looked distinctively refreshing as her magnificent eyes complimented well with her slightly pointed nose and suave lips. She wore red high heel shoes which made a sharp click sound as it landed on the concrete.

Click thud click thud click thud, the sounds were in sync as were their legs and swinging arms. Walking together down the lonely desolate streets, their mutual actions and affectionate conversation brought the chilly winds to a standstill and infectiously warmed up the surroundings. Curious residents peered out of their glaringly bright windows to realize that they have rare visitors around this relatively poor district.

"Dad, I miss my elder brother. Why did he have to leave us?"
"My beloved daughter, your brother died honourably for the country; he will always be in our hearts." the father lied through his teeth with a mixture of distinct stuttering and aching sadness.

Ok epic fail. My English so cui I still go write some stupid descriptive chim essay to flaunt my horrid GP skills. Although it oddly has some therapeutic effects of lifting my mind off army. The thought of it probably kills me more than actually going inside. Sighs. I'm so not fit for this, literally and physically. Sianx regret not training up now... CNY is here and I have absolutely no time. Got this sian feeling when you go around houses and you can't utilize these time to exercise. Sigh... emo emo. Feeling like a loner that have to go thru all these... I wish I had some company, real friends, to accompany me.

Saw the photos of my NPCC squad when we were Sec 1. I saw my ultra siannedd look. Thinking back, I think if I was more enthu and just grit my teeth and went through the shit, I could have known all of them better, make stronger friends and have lots of fun. It was sian but as the Chinese say, 苦中作乐 right? Thinking back, it was pretty amusing and even fun times with the people I treasure. Perhaps thats why people say BMT is fun, cos they have friends to go through all these shit with.

So I learnt two things here.

Live my army as if I have graduated from BMT and everything, and that I am a future self given a chance to rewrite my past again (only once). On the condition that I forgotten all my past and really have to redo it again. So of course must make it awesome. Unique perspective right.
Time flies so fast that everything will be over in a jiffy. Although when you're really in it, it feels damn slow sigh. It's like some relativity theory... when you're inside an event you don't like it takes so long, but yet when suddenly when its all over you feel that light years have past. So I will tahan through all these...

Anw, to finish off my ultra lame Japanese story above: *song plays*

Come to decide that the things that I tried
Were in my life just to get high on

When I sit alone come get a little known
But I need more than myself this time

Step from the road to the sea to the sky
And I do believe that we rely on

When I lay it on
Come get to play it on
All my life to sacrifice

Hey oh listen what I say oh
I got your
Hey oh now listen what I say oh

When will I know that I really can't go
To the well once more time to decide on

When it's killing me
When will I really see
All that I need to look inside

Come to believe that I better not leave
Before I get my chance to ride

When it's killing me
What do I really need
All that I need to look inside

Hey oh listen what I say oh
Come back and
Hey oh look at what I say oh

The more I see the less I know
The more I like to let it go... hey oh... whoa whoa

Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder
Where it's so white as snow

Privately divided by a world so undecided
And there’s nowhere to go
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/r/red_hot_chili_peppers/snow_hey_oh.html ]
In between the cover of another perfect wonder
And it’s so white as snow

Running through the field where all my tracks will be concealed
And there's nowhere to go

When to descend to amend for a friend
All the channels that have broken down

Now you bring it up
I’m gonna ring it up
Just to hear you sing it out

Step from the road to the sea to the sky
And I do believe what we rely on

When I lay it on
Come get to play it on
All my life to sacrifice

Hey oh listen what I say oh
I got your
Hey oh listen what I say oh

The more I see the less I know
The more I like to let it go... hey oh
Woah woah

Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder
Where it's so white as snow

Privately divided by a world so undecided
And there’s nowhere to go

In between the cover of another perfect wonder
Where it’s so white as snow

Running through the field where all my tracks will be concealed
And there's nowhere to go.

I said hey oh yeah oh yeah, tell my love now.
Hey hey yeah oh yeah

Cleansed

2012-01-20T01:12:00.003+08:00

Hope my blogskin looks slightly better now... it took me a while to make it look nicer. And the trigger? A BBC Adventure show where a renown hotel supervisor visits a shit-looking hotel and offers suggestion and help to renew and refurbish the hotel, improving on its image, service, theme and so on.

Visiting a blog is like visiting a hotel too... you want it to be clean and nice when you are staying around, easy to read, pleasing to the eye. My old blogskin was cluttered and messy but I just didn't have motivation to do anything about it. Idk if it's really nice now... but it sure looks better imo hahaha.

Okok, so you're so free to read my blog. Then don't let your mind rot! Let's do some math questions! It's pretty simple, I give you differential equations and you find what is y in terms of x. Remember your simple differentiation and trigonometric rules?? Hehehe... The questions range from easy to difficult as you scroll down. All the best :D

If any errors, prease tell me. Shorry, kthxbai.

Hint: The first 2 questions just think simply. The third one think deeper but I never give crazy polynomial equations. The last one is insane, if you can solve it you are really awesome :)

Here's the insane one.

Answers:

How to stand in a MRT

2012-01-16T18:44:00.003+08:00

Once upon a time, this place was a wonderful place of interesting and nonsensical theories that I posted... now it's like some ruinland where I blabber rubbish... oh wait... let's revive it!

Read this if:

You take the MRT often (duh!)
Take during peak hour when there is insanely lots of people
Take the North-South/East-West Line

I'll explain later. So you hit one or more of this criteria? Read on :)

The MRT is a crazy place to be. Small and with little room to stand. You have to stand and wait for many minutes if you don't find a seat. Worse still, if it's peak hour and you find yourself cramped like a sardine in a can, and it's impossible to grab something to stabilize yourself, chances are you will stumble sometimes.

The North-South and East-West line is the worst, it jerks back and forth, left and right, unlike the NEL and Circle Line which jerks only back and forth but most of the time the latter two is because the train accelerates for a long time and you need to perpetually balance yourself on one foot. Furthermore, the NS and EW line is always crowded and then if you are just by the door struggling to balance you'll definitely need this trick that I'm going to explain! Ok la maybe you all figured it out already :( but for those that haven't...

It's all about the center of gravity. That is defined as the spot where all the weight of the object seems to act upon. So you grab a 15cm ruler, rest it at the 7.5cm mark on your index finger and you realize that it balances pretty well if you don't wobble too much. That because the center of gravity is right at that spot where your finger is, and that finger is the pivot in the system. If you place the ruler on the 9cm instead, the center of gravity of the ruler does not lie right beneath the finger anymore, which is the pivot, and so a moment is created. Which means, the ruler rotates and rolls off your finger. A moment is a force that causes a clockwise or anticlockwise motion about a pivot point, smth like that.

It's similar to how you stand in the MRT. In the MRT, if you don't hold a thing, your two legs are your pivots, and your center of gravity is most likely where most of your mass is, probably near the stomach there? Around there, I'm not that sure. The thing is, if your center of gravity is right between your two legs, it's impossible for you to fall off. However, if the train is stupid and it jerks like mad while you do not make effort to counterbalance, your center of gravity might go way off the imaginary line joining your two legs because your body is now slanted (your stomach moved right hahaha), such that on one leg (the one further away from your center of gravity) the contact force pressing upward might become negligible. This causes the only force to create a rotational moment to be your weight acting downward from your center of gravity, and you will stumble of course.

Hence, the trick is to make your legs stand in a way that the center of gravity has ample space to move around without being too far away from the legs so that you won't fall.

Most of you reading this are physics geeks... so I guess you all are like duh... here's the diagram that I'm going to show you then.

No la these are not traffic lights or dice hahahaa. Let me explain. Suppose the MRT direction moves to the left from your point of view. You are looking from a bird's eye view at the way 4 people stand. The circles represent the legs, so the red circles is the two legs of one person, the yellow of another person, and the two pairs of green circles the legs of two respective individuals.

So how would you stand? Suppose you stand like the stupid red guy. It's City Hall MRT and the train is really congested, you're at the doorway where there is no way you can hold any handle or person. If your legs create an imaginary line perpendicular to the train motion, you will fall most definitely as the train jerks back and forth more likely than it jerks left and right. Hence, when the train is in its state of rest or motion with no acceleration, the center of gravity is midway of your legs, but when the train accelerates or decelerates, your center of gravity moves back or forth according to the red arrow. However, the "safe box" that can contain your center of gravity without you stumbling is vertically positioned. As a result, you will fall really easily. Fail.

Next, so you grew smarter. It's now Raffles Place MRT and the train is still filled to the brim. You are now the yellow person with the yellow legs. You stand horizontally and the imaginary line between your legs is parallel to the motion of the train. You spread out your legs apart so that there is a larger room (rectangle) for the center of motion to move around. Hence when the train brakes or speeds up, your center of gravity have some room to move around. Not bad. However, you are still vulnerable to the perpetual shaking of the train, especially when the unstable cable rails holding the railway tracks come off. Ok la jk, but it can still shake violently left and right at times, so your center of gravity can move according to the yellow arrows and away from the safe yellow box. Unsafe.

Hence, the safest way for you to stand is either of the green man!! Stand with your legs spread out but in a diagonal direction as shown above, doesn't matter if its north-east to south-west or north-west to south-east. In other words, stand in a position that is neither parallel or perpendicular to the motion of the train, but at an angle of 45 degrees or 135 degrees instead. This will create a "safe box" a lot larger than the red or yellow man such that no matter how the center of gravity moves according to how your body sways it is more unlikely that you will stumble or fall down. You are protected from the vertical and horizontal jerkings of the train. :) of course don't spread your legs too wide or you will look like a fool.

I hope you all understood this really rushed post, enjoy :)

Sound Of My Dreams

2012-01-15T22:16:00.000+08:00

A techno classic :) one of my favs

Dj Melodie - Sound Of My Dreams lyrics

I, I want to go
I want to run,
Run to the places where I can be.
I wanna know,
What is the sound,
Sound that is something that lightened me.

I, want to go,
I got to run,
Run to the moment that set me free.
You tell me why,
I hear the sound,
Sound of my dreams.

So now,
Now is the time to make it right
Now is the time to feel the heat
This is my place,
I'll stay tonight
Just move your body to the beat.

I, I want to go
I want to run,
Run to the places where I can be.
I wanna know,
What is the sound,
Sound that is something that lightened me.

I, want to go,
I got to run,
Run to the moment that set me free.
You tell me why,
I hear the sound,
Sound of my dreams.

Reverse Laaaaa

2012-01-13T16:10:00.002+08:00

This would probably make your day, as it made mine :)

Dear Running

2012-01-11T21:55:00.005+08:00

*I suggest you don't read this post and the one below unless you are v free because it doesn't make full logical sense*

If you are a person, you are not entirely easy to get along with. To start off (literally and figuratively), it takes tons of activation energy to push myself to know you better. However, because of the fact that I'm going to enlist in army and I need to do decently for my IPPT and stuff, I need to get closer to you.

You aren't a great friend to get along with, it sucks when I first got to know you, you were physically hard on me. I struggled to keep up with you, mentally pacing myself and pushing myself to move on. I ain't an athlete or had some secret running technique to begin with, so when I hanged out with you, it felt so painful. You are not one that encourages me actively or gives chances at all. It seems that others know you so much better than myself.

Ah whatever, one day I will definitely do well. Will hang out with you often hahaha. Although the odds are against me, although my time is limited. At least I feel happy after completing my time with you. There's this genuine satisfaction even though I ran like shyt. It's this never say die, never give up spirit that I'm embracing when I'm with you. I constantly rise up to the challenges that you give me with. Perhaps I would be a more emotionally resilient person as I would be more physically resilient as well. Because you train both the body and soul.

And well, overused cliche but life is truly a race in many ways. It's so tiring, it feels like shyt, constantly pissing me off, always thinking about giving up. But what can you do. End it? You won't get another chance. You can turn back from your track and retrace your steps and redo it again. All your imprints are DONE - yet they fade with time, like how memories do. At the end of your time, perhaps we will truly see the light, I wonder what awaits us, but while all of us are running, shouldn't we do our best? We would be proud of ourselves regardless, to love others regardless of who they are, to take care of people in need, to resolve worldly affairs in our small little ways and be more selfless. Sounds too idealistic to be true but we all should run to that purpose in life.

This race is long and arduous. Many people see it as competition against each other, we can compete in a hella lot ways. We even try to lap others through selfish methods that may hurt others in one way or another. Idk because it's so complicated, I wish society wasn't so competitive at times. But then again, its a RACE that we are talking about. Some people say its a race to get the most achievements, some feel is a race to find a purpose in life and live it to the fullest, I think let us not forget its a race against time- to do everything you have aspired and dreamed to do in this life.

I have fallen many times in my life- but I know I must continue on, it's like running- so draining, physically painful, feel like giving up and etc., sure sucks a lot to be me when everyone is moving pretty comfortably at their own pace. But I just have to go on, keep doing my very best, till I live my very last breath. Then when I close my eyes I will have no regrets.

If you have reached here - congratulations, you have finished the second long-winded essay I have created. You have probably read the one below too- salutes to you. And all the rest of them below. Doesn't matter if you scrolled down so quickly, i don't care at all because I never bother reading my huge essays nor other people's long posts.

Disclaimer: I have no idea why I wrote them, it's like a mixture of boredom and sianneddness and also of cos emoness. But you know I'm always like that. I feel so much better when I write all these down- then I can clarify my mind and find a new direction in life. It's always subconsciously bugging me, all these little things, I didn't mean to irritate you all or show how sucky my life is or get some sympathy whatsoever, I just need to establish a one-way connection so that it seems that we partially shared my troubles. I mean in the first place - I don't have much people to talk to (unlike you all), so obviously I will try to release my thinking somewhere else. I should have used a private blog, and leave this one to intellectually satisfying things, but well, since you all have read it, it doesn't matter anymore.

Time Machine

2012-01-11T00:00:00.003+08:00

I'm sorry, this is like a outpouring of my feelings and emotions after a long period of hiatus of long posts. Oh and after reading the motivational and inspirational "Live Like A Fruitfly" book (introduced by my good friend Jay) that helped to improve my perspectives by quite a bit. So I do hope this post is not as dreadful as it would have been w/o any enlightenment in life.

My blog is a time machine. The months of archives are piling up and getting long, perhaps I need a smarter interface to hide it nicely. But it just show that time really flies... I first started this blog in 2007, when we were carefree, young and innocent. And now it's 2011- the time when we are more mature, careful of what we write, stressed out and basically lots of changes in my life.

It's like the person that lived 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010 and 2011 were completely different personas from me. I belong to 2012... and I shall pass on the baton to the person in 2013 (if the world doesn't blow up on Dec 21!). The only thing linking all of us are the memories in my head. Yes I really think so.

Things are progressively changing. The complete fusion of space and time dictates that we live in infinite time-frames that consistently decay and give way for new frames to emerge. Our lives are shortening, (and I like this phrase) we are at the youngest point of our lives now. So live it to the fullest. Come to think of it, it's like every second I feel different- my cells inside me live and die, I'm completely different every nanosecond.

It's just the memories in my amazing network of neural cells reminding me of who I am and where I belong in this society. But even nerve cells die (although some live a lifetime), the neural networks decay and are rebuilt with some errors, and many other conditions that make our memories all twisted when we grow up. Many memories just become left in the corner of the brain, probably in our "Recycle Bin". Some of them are left on the "Desktop", constantly appearing because we still remember these vivid events. Some are left in clearly labelled folders, waiting for a trigger like a place, person, song or whatever to open that memory again.

However, when we die, all these "memory files" just die with us. Perhaps looking back at these archives make us proud of ourselves as an individual, or perhaps it brings back disgusting, horrible deeds and memories that we have left behind. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are no regrets to be made in life, you need to live your life to the fullest. Like- do everything that you REALLY want to do, and not commit any grievous crimes, not make any wrong mistakes, not letting yourself and your loved ones down. Because while we don't fully comprehend why we are here in this world, and we often waste all these entities of time and space away because we think that we are immortal and won't die- like how I languish and rant about my decaying life, I think I still need to move on with my life no matter how shitty it gets.

I mean- I got dealt a pretty bad set of cards aka circumstances (check out my old blog post about happiness), it's like 2 2 3 4 5, while others get lots of Aces, Kings, Queens and Jacks. Or perhaps I didn't get a bad set of cards when I was born, I just acquired more horrible cards later on- while others lived a relatively better life. Yes I say relatively, who knows? I wonder who feels as miserable as me sometimes, even if they are smart, popular, handsome, buff, talented in whatever there can be in this world and so on. It's really queer that we must compare with others in this competitive society, and in all these years that I have been living, breathing, writing this blog, I have probably committed this grievous mistake and found no peace and serenity in my life trying to acheive a idealistic life bench-marked by the seemingly happiest person I believed to be.

Then again , I might have gave myself these horrible set of cards halfway through, I handled them really poorly. If life is one big poker/liar game (good manga!), I must have revealed my cards and made myself really miserable, because people just trampled upon me. And with this horrible circumstances upon myself, I didn't bother to improve myself and climb out of this vicious cycle. Or perhaps I didn't learn to be content with the cards I have obtained.

I was also thinking possibly that karma possibly turned against me. I have committed lots of horrible deeds in my life, I have. I justify myself by telling myself that others have also done so, and it's a real cruel world, so I don't care. But I guess it all just came back to myself- all my evil deeds, all my selfishness, my ignorance, my flawed personality that made me a loner as I am now and often dissatisfied about my life. However deep in my mind, I'm quick to point out that others have also done horrible things and left unpunished. I guess life is just unfair. Relatively when compared to better people. I wonder how low can I drop in my dreadful life.

I just hope that all these is over before I go into army - so that I can start a new life (aka clicking the refresh button) and find many many new friends that understand me. I also want to leave my shell of shyness, loneliness and etc. and be a more open, honest, brave and loving person towards others. This is a hardened shell that I can't climb out of- a shell created by others who see me as what I am. Unfortunately, I often put up a false front to be as mainstream as possible, and to commit as little offensive actions as possible towards others. However, I believe I'm a butterfly hidden in this cocoon, waiting to reveal itself when the time comes and people truly appreciate me instead of neglecting me sometimes. Hopefully this positive energy will resonate with others and that I might find better companionship as many have had now and also a sense of tranquility deep in my soul. We'll see how it goes.

Tbh, presently I'm pretty worried about army and stuff- and I know I hate handling all those combat weapons, possibly horrified over using weapons that can use others (i wish we didn't need these). Plus, I learn things real slowly, maybe I'll be the weakest link and pull everyone down. Nonetheless, I feel that the more important thing is to find friends that are accommodating enough to accept me as I am, and vice versa. I just wish they won't classify me as an unimportant friend/buddy (like I feel many did), or worse, outcast me.

Ah, now that I have projected all my worries in words. I guess I feel much better. I hate spending all my time at home, alone. I know everyone is having a great life out there, so I'm trying my utmost best to make the best I have out of the cards I have. I'm a person that really craves love and social attention, I wish I had many friends I could turn to. Unfortunately, everyone is always busy, or already having schedules with their own cliques and stuff. I'm the one left behind, once again. It feels horrible (said this for the umpteen time over the years) to be alone. I feel so misunderstood, neglected, etc etc. I'm trying hard to find peace in my quiet days that I have left.

Yknow, I wonder what you all think when you read this. A sense of sympathy for me? Or like- there he goes again, stop being that emo guy spewing all your nonsense over cyberspace. Or worse still, there may be a few of you treating my (emo) blog posts as entertainment. I really don't know. But somehow I just feel this need to connect with all of you all- even if you all just spent 1% of your time reading this and feeling just 1% sadness for me. I feel so happy when people read and understand what I'm trying to say, or when old friends come up and talk to me about it. I really do. And another thing, it kinda sucks to say this but I hope you all are happier when you read my post because I always feel that my life is not great, and there's this empty feeling and stuff- so I'm glad you all have found a better purpose and sense of belonging in your life than me.

Ok - I'm lost for words so I'll leave it as it is.

I love all of you- my family, my loved ones, all of my good friends (although I'm probably out of the good friend list in many of your minds), and even to many of my semi-good friends (hahaha) and acquaintances. There's this big temple in my consciousness, it contains many torches of flames each representing a relationship with a person, some a blazing brightly while others are really dim. But no matter what, I keep the dimmest of flames alive because I'm waiting for a day when there's a chance some of these flames will blaze brilliantly as they once used to- especially after I make mistakes and improve as a person. Cya all. Take care.

When I'm Gone

2012-01-09T01:03:00.002+08:00

This song by Eminem makes me emotional...

Oh yeah, it's a really normal day today I guess. Feeling sian and a bit depressed but my optimism is suppressing it relatively well... I cannot plunge into a pitiful state... must hang on...

Anyway, I don't really think I'm that lonely, I'm more like neglected by people around me. So it's #foreverneglected.

#foreveralone

2012-01-07T23:06:00.006+08:00

#foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone #foreveralone

To be fair, I had a good day today. Went for NTU talk with my friends Benjamin and Andy and another person. It was highly boring - especially the boring Business talk. Talk about talking business. The grand hotel and its intricate designs appealed to me more. I tried my very best to stay awake, but I failed even after drinking hot coffee in the morning.

However, the mechanical engineering lecturer was interesting and captivating, he swayed me a bit over to NTU Engineering. Now the question is NTU or NUS Engineering, not should I take engineering or not. HAHA at least I inched forward a little in my decision making, we are all at a huge crossroad that we have to make the right choices for the right courses, which lead to the right, enjoyable jobs, lots of money and blah. If I can get past army first.

Went out with Benjamin after that - we were like escapees running away from the NTU chairman LOLOL because we sat in the front rows, we attracted stares as we left... but his talk was also very technical la (just wanted to hear the scholarship thing) so we gave up and went to eat lunch.

After strolling for an hour or so hahaha cos we lost our way in darn Orchard Road, we finally found a Long John Silver's at Somerset by taking MRT. Got pwned by the great detail of URA and LTA planners, make all the road and buildings so complex that you rather take bus or MRT. Still gotta spend adult fares T_T... paying extra money to travel, perfect example of #firstworldpains - right? Did I quote it right? Hahaha.

Then walked around and chilled some more at some random coffee and toast shop at Esplanade Exchange before leaving. Quite nice to be outside and distracted from the troubles of life, spending time with good friends. Ah that brings me back here, typing alone and feeling neglected. I wish I could shut down the brain that makes me emotional, sentimental and caring for people who don't give a #$^!# about me anymore. Then I would finally be happy.

Ah I need to change my blogskin... but too siannedd to do it.

Fallin' For You

2012-01-06T02:17:00.004+08:00

Colbie Caillat, I'm fallin' for you :) (and your songs)

Oh yes, I've fallen for KL as well... especially the magnificent KLCC :), plus my beautiful hotel, Berjaya Times Square.

My noob photography and camera not bad right :D I like it when the metallic pillars sparkle under the sun.

My room looked something like this

Source: takemetotravel.com

Hahaha mine don't have the coloured pillows and it was two single beds... but everything else looked the same. The toilet is bigger than my bedroom...

Ok it's late, cya all next time as I continue on this post... if anyone is still reading this hahaha

Team America Theme Song

2011-12-29T01:55:00.002+08:00

Very vulgar but funny song if you listen closely... basically a satirical song about the national pride (of America) and anti-terror...

It's my life

2011-12-28T02:07:00.001+08:00

It's been a long time since I blogged hahaha. It's been a wild ride for me, even in the midst of holidays. Some emotional turmoil I would say. But not over girls... over guy friends, because I don't really have much girl friends (note: not girlfriends). For my friends out there worrying about the girl they like (seems to be a lot even for a person like me who have little friends), jiayou and follow your heart rather than your mind. I'm serious - although I might chicken out if it's my turn. You may regret very early on but later on you would have let it go already, or perhaps be living very blissfully ^^

i'm jealous because you all can worry about girlfriends and here I am worrying about whether will I become a true loner

Anyway for my problem, I've thinking who are my real friends. For you all who have friends by the dozens, this does not probably relate to you at all. But for me who can count my really good friends with my 10 fingers (good friends with toes and fingers), it really does bug me sometimes.

The worst thing is that I wish people won't give me cold shoulder when I don't deserve it, I don't know if I have been doing anything really wrongly, but I don't think I have really neglected that badly (and I didn't mean to because I treasure all of you), but it just sucks when I feel left out in events and I don't feel like I belong somewhere - much as I try hard to fit inside. I try very hard ok!!! It really just sucks, seriously damn eff up, I regret trying so hard to talk to you all but yet I fail, waste my energy and time --- I really want to find my own friends that can relate to me!!!

You all are nice people in general, but I wish you all would show more empathy for me and attempt to talk to me more instead of dismissing me, conveniently forgetting me. My attempts to be a different person, or even weird, is probably another persona I created to relate with you all, it was never my true self. And I'm not a quiet person, I just need some conversation that truly relates to me, and I could talk forever.

Whoever that reads this, I hope you all don't speculate too much if I'm referring to you. I'm just ranting out...

Ah whatever, this is one wild ride. I feel neglected by the people I appreciate and cherish. I wish I knew what I did wrong..

And I quarreled with my dad today - I don't know why, I think it just had to happen someday, and it happened today. I just cannot stand his nagging sometimes, it's not that I'm trying to be rebellious or anything as he says, why must he always rule with an iron hand and with such conservatism, oh yeah and he pulled my ear too, so humiliating. Like what the eff. But its ok now so whatever, perfectly fine with him - just hope he got the point that he just has to slow down on his nagging.

I wish my bro would slow down on his domineering attitude over me and stop chiding me over small issues too... its like those sparks that ignite my anger especially when I'm so moody. Talk nicely instead of scolding me. I know I'm immature and always have to rely on you, but its like just give me the freedom to do whatever I want la - dont need to be overly concerned with my life.

Because - ITS MY LIFE!!!
IT'S NOW OR NEVER
I AIN'T GONNA LIVE FOREVER
I JUST WANNA LIVE WHILE IM ALIVE

Suddenly today, my brain lit up to this song -totally relates to me. Really nice but it feels as if everyone knows it so I don't really own this school of thought that I'm in control of my own effing life and nobody can stop me. Hahaha. I really hope this post won't spark an outrage... no offense intended just ranting. In fact I still love you all. Kthanksbai.

The feeling when u think bout army

2011-12-21T00:25:00.003+08:00

Disappearing from existence into a new persona, forgetting your old self. Jealous of other people who don't have to go through all these.

Le7els

2011-12-20T12:01:00.001+08:00

This is one amazing track...

My Boring Life...

2011-12-20T00:21:00.003+08:00

Not that funny, but hope you like it anw!

squalo's hi

2011-12-17T02:35:00.002+08:00

VVVVOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!

Nvm ignore me. My life damn sian these days. Sleeping late everyday, very bad. Guess I have thought through about my life and I'm not that sian/sad/emo anymore. I guess its how it has worked out.

Best Friends

2011-12-15T01:14:00.005+08:00

Tsuna and Enma in the manga - Katekyo Hitman Reborn ^^
Source: http://morgrix.livejournal.com/1924.html - no copyright infringement intended

Super random post here... the picture above makes me feel warm... haha how does it feel to have a best friend? I really don't know. I could say I have some close friends... but they all have their own friends. I really really wish I had a really good friend (if not a best friend) that could understand me and can talk to me all the time. I'm envious of people who find other people that they can really relate to.

Haha sorry, I'm just kind of lonely sometimes. I can go out with all my friends I have but yet I know deep in my heart they already have their own friends that they rank first. Yeah. Sucks to be me sometimes, I have utterly failed in my 12 years of education life to find a so-called BFF. Mmm ok hopefully I don't write this kind of weird stuff anymore. I want to write some interesting stuff hmmm

And I have no idea why people visit my blog... it's so boring :( ... sometimes people search weird stuff and come here too lol

Late

2011-12-12T03:27:00.002+08:00

Eh its 3:27am now hahaha I'm doomed if my family sees this. I have been sleeping v late these days, from 2am to 3am and then to 4am omg. Idk why, I'm really addicted to the computer. And I hate the fact that theres nothing to do in the morning. Not like I'm going out with anyone or anywhere. So I attempt to prolong the time I am awake by staying up. Such a crappy excuse :X and another thing is that army won't seem to come so quickly LOL

Just that erm... I wake up at 11am to 1pm every morning, or should I say afternoon.

Shivers

2011-12-09T14:18:00.003+08:00

My all time favorite trance song, the song that brought me to listen to radio, to WKRZ 91.3 where there was still awesome techno and trance music, with occasional sprinkling of pop music. Actually it's really lame, it was the songs of Need For Speed Underground 2, the trance tunes that make me really hooked onto the radio station. Now its remade as Radio 91.3, just those argh teen pop music by you know who, sometimes its nice but many times its not. But at least they have revived one little segment for trance music, so thumbs up!

Kind of sucks how things progress in life, how time goes in one way, how entropy causes the universe to decay into chaos, all those beautiful times you had with your good friends, family, all those memorable events, now all faded away, all so distant. All the things that I have lost... Things that never repeat. Things you didn't treasure. Left the prom night with a tinge of regret... haix but thats just life.

Or maybe sometimes it's your memory crystallized that was beautiful, but actually the journey really sucked, the whole road of studying... no one people said A level was a breeze after they finished it, if they did it once again they would curse and swear.

Oh... and here's the music video.

"How could it end this wayyyyyyy????"

Full lunar eclipse 10 dec

2011-12-09T14:01:00.003+08:00

It starts at 7:30pm (hardly visible) but visible changes occur at around 8:45pm!! By 10pm you can start watching the moon ^^. So for bored people (like me) please look up to the sky at that time

Geek stuff below
A normal Full Moon:

1. First contact with penumbra - 7:33pm: This phase is subtle and not easy to detect, the Moon will gradually turn a shade of light grey.

2. First contact with Umbra- 8:45pm: The Moon will seem to disappear on its western hemisphere and reach a stage where it will be half illuminated by the Sun and half in Earth’s umbra shadow. At this stage it will give the appearance of a Quarter Moon. As it moves deeper into Earth’s Umbra shadow it will begin to turn a light shade of red on its western hemisphere. The colour will become more uniform and the whole of the Moon will turn copper red as it moves even deeper into Earth’s shadow.

3. Total eclipse starts- 10:06pm: Now deep in Earth’s umbra shadow the Moon is illuminated indirectly. Sunlight strikes Earth’s atmosphere, where fine particles of dust, volcanic ash, and water vapour, refract and bend light inwards towards the Moon. The reddish light strikes the Lunar surface which in turn is reflected back to Earth.

4. Mid eclipse- 10:31pm: Now even deeper in earth’s shadow, the Moon becomes darker as less light is able to reach the Lunar surface and will turn a darker shade of copper red. The Moon during the eclipse of 10 December 2011 passes through the lower half of Earth’s umbra shadow; therefore the southern region of the Moon will appear a lighter shade of red, while the northern region of the moon - being deeper in Earth’s umbra shadow - will appear a darker shade of copper red.

Orbital velocity of the Moon, 2,288mph / 3,683kph

Totality duration is 51 minutes.

5. Total eclipse ends- 10:57pm: As the Moon leaves Earth’s Umbra shadow, it will begin to turn a shade of white on its western hemisphere, while the eastern hemisphere will remain a shade of red. As the Moon moves further out of Earth’s umbra shadow, the Moon will gradually become a more uniform shade of white.

6. Last contact with umbra- 12:17am: The Moon will now be completely out of Earth’s umbra shadow have a subtle shade of grey amongst its whiteness.

7. Last contact with penumbra- 1:30am: The Moon will return to its familiar shade of white.

Source: http://eclipsegeeks.com/TotalLunarEclipse10December2011.aspx

Too sian to post about details of my life these days, especially with the drilling going on downstairs that never fails to piss me off. EVERYDAY. Wth. Wheres my compensation.

Emptiness

2011-12-04T02:02:00.003+08:00

The emptiness after going to two crazy outings with two different groups of friends.

Hmm gonna be prepared for the worse, if I'm gonna be lonely for many weeks to come, I must tahan by distracting myself thoroughly, finding new hobbies and interests to do, and exercise probably (haven done that in ages). Not really looking forward to prom night actually, a little regretful for signing up recklessly... idk... it's not like I have many friends or girls to go out with...

But after that, I really don't know what to do... hahah

Children - Robert Miles

2011-11-28T18:02:00.003+08:00

Really nice trance music I think you may find it familiar, this is one hella great trance track that you won't forget. This type of music is called "dream trance".

Ripped from Wikipedia hahaha

Dream trance is the earliest subgenre of trance music that peaked prominently on the international dance scene between 1995 and 1997 (colliding with the first time for trance to reach mainstream). The "dream" term has been known to largely influence house music in general, and therefore the subgenre is also known as dream house or dream dance on some occasions.

The key element of dream trance resides in catchy and deep melodies of such tracks, typically played on an analog instrument (piano, violin, saxophone, etc.) that are mastered and then sampled onto electronic beat structure. The melodies are considered "dreamy", i.e. tending to alter the listener's mind, hence the name.

The information below is amusing.

Background and writing

Miles has stated two motives for the writing of "Children". One was as a response to photographs of child war victims his father had brought home from a humanitarian mission in the former Yugoslavia;^[1] the other, inspired by his career as a DJ, was to create a track to end DJ sets, intended to calm rave attendants prior to their driving home as a means to reduce car accident deaths.^[2]

"Children" is one of the pioneering tracks of dream house, a genre of electronic dance music characterized by dream-like piano melodies, and a steady four-on-the-floor bass drum. The creation of dream house was a response to social pressures in Italy during the early 1990s: the growth of rave culture among young adults, and the ensuing popularity of nightclub attendance, had created a weekly trend of deaths due to car accidents as clubbers drove across the country overnight, falling asleep at the wheel from strenuous dancing as well as alcohol and drug use. In mid-1996, deaths due to this phenomenon, called strage del sabato sera (Saturday night slaughter) in Italy, were being estimated at around 2000 since the start of the decade.

The move by DJs such as Miles to play slower, calming music to conclude a night's set, as a means to counteract the fast-paced, repetitive tracks that preceded, was met with approval by authorities and parents of car crash victims.^[3]

Haha what a weird reason to create music...

Haix, one more day to end of A levels, but I don't know. I'm bored. I don't mind studying actually... you may call me mad but at least when I study I feel so engrossed in the topic and I can forget all my worries, fears and sadness in this world. But only for sciences and math. Econs and GP makes me miserable.

It sucks when you give up in life, I just gave up talking to people. No I'm not gonna find any good friends in my life, I'm just a nobody. I find myself so pitiful, talking to people that may probably forget me someday. Flopped my 18 years of life, it is partly poor luck and partly my own fault. I feel detached from the world. Goodnight.

My own world (edit)

2011-11-23T17:45:00.003+08:00

Hmm trying to be a lot less emo these days... I think watching the rain alone at the balcony is pretty much an enjoyment in life. So is lying on the bed listening to trance music, or just staring at the ceiling alone while my brother camps at home playing League of Legends. Oh of course playing DotA with my friends... haha all the escapist stuff that I can do alone. Nevermind if my whole life have flopped...

True leisure time is rest time carved out and treasured even in the midst of a busy schedule. I think throughout this period, I have had some pretty nice relaxation periods even in the midst of much stress. Although some papers done were disappointing, but I think I have put in a lot of effort already!!! Argh I wish results weren't so important in life, I wish there was just one examination to decide our fate.

*edit*

Sigh I have no idea what I'm doing now hahaha... I'm seeking a new kind of happiness, not those short-lived and thrilling one, but a general contentment about life. I'm actually getting there, it's amazing, I hope I don't need to write emo stuff anymore. Even if I am a nobody in life, all my friends regard me as 2nd or 3rd class (i.e. not the important ones), or that I lost touch with many, or my studies and sports suck, my social life sucks, and etc etc. ... I tell myself I'm NOT GOING TO GIVE UP!!! Since I estimate I got like at least 10 more years to live (LOL), and at most 70 years, I might as well cheer up and be a little bit happy.

I'm enjoying the peace and serenity in Singapore, enjoying every DotA match, enjoying my conversations with my family and even my brother hahaha, chuckling at the things my friends said while they laugh at me for no reason -.- but I guess its pretty nice when you dislocate from the world and your life and you think of the things you already have. I have a happy family, stable and decent life, my results are fine, I have sufficient friends for my social needs, I can play complex computer games, it is very peaceful here, I can listen to my techno and non-techno songs (yes I have a balance) using my handphone... and so on... oh and I can drink my Teh C when I want to!!!!

I do not believe that being a loner and being content (if not happy) about life is mutually exclusive.

It's 2 years and 6 months since I talked about listening to the band Nickelback. They got a lot of hate on YouTube hahaha. However, their old songs (some of them) evoke some nostalgia and nice feelings - good for chilling. Far away is a simple and meaningful song/video, Saving You is interesting and thought provoking, If Today Was Your Last Day - the name says it all. Got a lot of other songs too but most of it about love, and a few not so nice ones also. Oh and Gotta Be Somebody just encapsulates what I think about life- a double meaning of finding someone that really cares about you and also making it big in life.

cya

LIFE- GAME ON!!

2011-11-20T00:00:00.001+08:00

Happiness is a scarce and rare good. There is always a shortage based on demand and supply, and the MPC of happiness is very high.

Google Translate

2011-11-19T18:11:00.001+08:00

So what else can Google translate do?

Google Gravity

2011-11-17T23:28:00.002+08:00

Type Google Gravity on the Google page
Press "I'm feeling lucky", or the first link that appears on the search
Watch the website crash!
Click and hold the search bar and sweep it around the page, pandemonium!

try typing "do a barrel roll" on the search bar too.
Or go to this link http://www.google.com/pacman

Enjoy!

Arrgh need to go back study -.-, I really cannot understand myself for being so careless at all the subjects that I feel I was good in. I didn't think I was complacent actually, it's like I never read the question properly (if at all). Sigh...

Confession: I admit I'm so evil, sometimes I hope people won't do so well just because I didn't do well zzz... we are all evil aren't we (or is it just me). I hope this evil don't consume me, must totally control it!!! I cannot let myself fall into darkness.... like this paragraph

Rules of a loner

2011-11-12T21:17:00.003+08:00

Do not overindulge in loneliness, life is too sad for you to be lonely. Instead, look forward.
Do not compare with others, life is not about comparison or winning others. It's about finding yourself.
Do not expect too much from friends, life goes on even when they are not there.
Be optimistic, the world smiles with you.
When life is shitty, remember that it is like a poker game. You cannot give yourself away. Fight back and win what you deserve.
Prioritise your time and effort on important things and people that are worth it. Neglect the others or just forget about it..
If all else fails, start all over again. Remember this list.

Signing off,
KJX (p.s. this blog post is more for myself)

sing it back - moloko

2011-11-12T00:28:00.003+08:00

NOT A TECHNO SONG. VERY CHILL SONG BELOW, made me less emo :D ... one of those jeweled songs hiding beneath my bookmarks.

Not your taste? V sorry :(( ... but its like some real funky old nice beat la damn nice~

2011-11-11T22:25:00.001+08:00

No matter how disappointed I am, and maybe even emo... I must stay strong.

Bye.

To everyone taking A levels

2011-11-07T00:31:00.002+08:00

Especially my good friends + my faithful readers haha (idk if anyone still read this but...)

Mina, ganbare!!! (not a insult ok!)

Not a Japanese fanatic but apparently this was taken from one of the techno songs I listen to, it means - everyone, give your best!!! :D love you all. Byeee.

Hero (edit)

2011-10-31T00:52:00.003+08:00

Why don't you be my hero!!!!! Woahh...

My hero, Mr Low :D xD actually that was the song stuck in my head at that time.

Goodbye Mr Low, I personally think you were a great principal, made great speeches ^^, related to the students, fair and equal to all groups of students, CCAs, thanks for being with us for all these years!!!

I think when I was in VS, even though I felt like a minority there because I was shy, unsporty, unenthusiastic and chao mugger, it was still a great place with all my friends. Even though it's really regretful I don't talk to so many people (because I didn't even bother to keep in contact with friends) that I used to talk to, and committed lots of grievous mistakes, I really really missed those days. It's so different now.

At least I was accepted into the school, like not only physically, but also socially. It's hard to find a place where you truly can belong in. So awesome. It's the place where I really learnt how to open up to society. JC is all about studying... hahaha

And this blog, somehow, has all my 3 years of ranting and VS stories inside, oh my gosh! Talk about long archives! I believe there are many blogs out there who have all these life stories too. I'm gonna dig all of them out and enjoy, if not relive, all my memories once more hahaha.

(edit)
Omg it's November!!! 8 days to A levels woo... I did so much practice yet I feel so unprepared, I'm really scared of bad time management, I hope I can complete all my GP and econs essays on time. Really really important...

Sigh... regret all the days I slacked off, including now also, printing stuff for my friend but yet when I turned on the computer... arrgh.

I always think of myself as a humble and kind guy, but actually when I think deeper, maybe I ain't anything like that at all. I'm quite selfish and anti-social actually, and I think twice before helping a person too much, especially if he or she is not my close friend. Even within my supposedly closer friends, I hesitate when they ask me too much for help... I feel so selfish, I'm thinking like - if you have so many friends, why not ask them instead of me if you don't treat me as a good friend? I know a saying that says "To have a good friend you gotta be one.", looks like I'm breaking the rule already. Arrgh I'm so flawed, is that the reason for my social failure in life?

Good emo song... maybe I should try playing Kingdom hearts after A levels, all the comments are so positive!! Like delving into a fantasy world and never returning...

JX theory of reality or dream

2011-10-27T23:04:00.006+08:00

This video is pretty interesting, it's about "Schrödinger's cat" shared by my friend - all the vids there are interesting.

It's kind of mind-blowing actually when you think of this kind of stuff, about how your reality and your lives determine on the outcome of events that can happen with a certain probability. However, we will never know until the time comes. Every second, a million happenings could happen and this increases exponentially with time.

Oh, and it's pretty likely that a divine being is watching over all of us, watching all our lives and fate unravel and only one possible timeline of outcomes happening. But I believe that the divine being created space-time and can probably view the whole timeline of the start of time until it's end! Why would you trap yourself in something that you created right? My analogy is a transparency as a parallel world and the dyes as the direction of universe, space and time. It's like how a million stack of transparencies are put together, with only one transparency having special colored dyes that have special directions, but when the divine one looks down upon all transparencies, there would only be one reality that is visible, and that is the one that is happening.

Here's the epic illustration. The y-axis is the number of parallel worlds, constantly increasing with time due to infinite possibilities of life. The x-axis is time, as time progresses more worlds will emerge. But only one red line will truly occur, the reality that we all know!

Oh, and what are the other lines and dots? It represents my interpretation of time travel, muhahaha. Some inspiration of Hitman Reborn I guess. For instance, you can travel back in reality (as shown by the right yellow dot moving to the left yellow dot). However, my belief is that if you travel too far back in time, you will warp events around you, which will evolve into chaotic changes in reality and hence you will be lost in another "reality line" as shown by the possible yellow lines. It is possible, but negligibly impossible for you to go back to reality. Lost forever.

Similarly, if you travel to another parallel world in the same time (blue line), you will cause many new reality lines to emerge, causing the person who experienced time travel to experience totally different events. And you could possibly also move randomly within time and parallel worlds, and creating new realities that you could possibly experience. HAHA wow... in any case, all these 3 time travels will make you unlikely get back to the real reality that everyone is facing.

I think only the yellow time travel is possible in the space-time dimension, it just means you have to travel faster than the speed of light in order to slow down your "perceived time" and move back your reality. The other two are pretty much, impossible without divine powers?

Actually, I think our dreams are all parallel worlds!!!! Not impossible but nearly there, but we feel our existence at a totally different time and space. Truly amazing. Sleep to time travel people.

Maybe next time all the parallel worlds will collapse back into a single line of common existence, or maybe nothingness?! :O

Anyway, lets zoom into the red line, the one line that shows how space-time will truly unravel.

Here you go :D

Each colour shows a existence of living entity, the life he will experience and etc. There are invisible forces and interactions (which we take for granted) that affect everyone's lives, hence all the realities of people are entangled up and related to each other, if one more is added or removed the entanglement changes, which causes our lives to be entirely different. However, all these motion is within one single true line of reality, which was, is and will happen. i.e. the common reality is made up of all the realities of living entities in the world.

(pardon the life of life error)

Next, we have the black region, the unrevealed fate and twisting of events and lives as time is playing out. The divine would have seen it all, but it is impossible for us to predict anything with absolute certainty here. Next we have the absolute time line, and it is moving at a constant rate to the right that unravels all the events and the changing of our lives.

Next here comes the interesting part. This is my awkward belief ok! The black dots show where are we in our perception of the reality of life, i.e. at which exact part of our lives are we. Because we do not know absolute time on Earth, we perceive our own present time to be the current time, which may not be the case! Do you know that the world record for time travel is 0.02s??? Supposedly he traveled so fast in a spacecraft that they moved forward in time gosh, or at least the time he perceived. Hence his perception of life (the black dot) is actually behind all of us!!! I cannot reconcile with that actually gosh!!!

And I find it very interesting that we decide our time when we sleep, because supposedly when we wake up we find every single soul experiencing the same time as us! What about all the people who sleep late?!? Are they lagging in time?! But I guess some argue it's the brain's problem that it forgot to register the time slept, but it does felt like our lives shortened :O - hence I would challenge that all of us are TRULY experiencing different things in our life now LOLOL, and that when you talk to people, you are really, talking to their future or past selves, according to how fast or lag are they. This is because everyone's soul, existence, whatever you call it, is probably experiencing different events at different times of their life. HOWEVER, all these outcomes have played out successfully in absolute time. Hohoho~

Anyway, the red parallel lines are not equipotential lines ok! It's just how I would classify light, unable to escape from a current time and space world because it's perception of time freezes as it travels around illuminating our lives.

Anyway, some people contested neutrinos are faster than the speed of light, it's strange, because I thought wouldn't it mean that when it travels, it moves back in time??? Or at least the Lorenz factor give us an imaginary number LOL... it probably moved to a different parallel world. Don't you want to be a neutrino sometimes? Being an fast moving electron is probably good enough, because time will slow down enough for me to study for A levels T_T.

Just wasted precious time to study haix... cannot on com next time. Wonder who will read this? Hehehe not a v good theory imo, just for fun nia.

Anima Libera

2011-10-23T00:33:00.002+08:00

Anima libera, ti senti candida, lassu nel cielo volerai
Anima libera, sempre m'illumina, nel buio dei pensieri miei
Anima libera, solente magica, sei la speranza dentro me
Anima libera , leggera e unica, nel cosmo azzurro brillerai
E non lasciare che paure inutili nascondano la luce in te io non ti scorderò, io ti celebrerò, col ritmo di questa canzone

Free soul, you feel flawless up there in the sky;
You will fly, free soul, always lighting me up in the darkness of my thoughts

Free and magical soul
You're the hope inside me
Free soul, light and unique in the blue sky
You will shine and don't let futile fears hide the light inside you
I won't forget you I will celebrate you to the rhythm of this song.

The liberation brought about by melodious music, the calling to be free when in fact we are all still trapped in our physical entities, bounded by the restrictions of this world, accepting of the harsh realities that have been imposed or brought about by ourselves and also unable to reach out to the world. Even if it all just an illusion, it's a pretty good one.

2011-10-22T00:52:00.002+08:00

So I'm gonna celebrate the anniversary of my existence... but haix I feel so empty gosh, is it a never ending cycle so sianneddness and sadness. The sadness when you feel so empty of life, especially from studying, and then you realize that people jus dao you when you regard them as friends, when people omit you in their conversations and places you should be. And then I end up being unfriendly to everyone, and they are unfriendly to me. Goshhhhh... probably not you if you read this though :)

Ban

2011-10-14T01:56:00.001+08:00

I guess it's time to ban myself from using com, its horrible, anti-social, no one is online to chat with me, and it drains away my study time like an open tap. Really want to do well...

Gold

2011-10-11T19:33:00.002+08:00

The colour of beauty, luxury and excellence. Related to the things we desire - beautiful appearance and character, luxurious lifestyles, and excellence in our lives, be it academics or any other things.

JX last law of studynamics

2011-10-09T23:59:00.004+08:00

THIS IS THE FINAL INSTALLMENT OF MY STUDYING SERIES!!! - The theory of studying III, if you haven't read I and II please do so on the blue bar on the right :D everything is there.

The change in internal energy of the brain is equal to the effective work done by the individual (W) minus the distractions and procrastinations (D). The internal energy of the brain is the amount how temporary knowledge and its amount of usage, and it is proportionate to the "temperature" of the brain.

△U = k△T, △U is change in internal energy, △T is temperature, k is the knowledge constant. In my theory, every individual has different capacities of their maximum internal energy and hence the temperature. The threshold temperature, To, is the limit that the brain can work before it goes haywire hehe, and it is linked to the long run average schedule in my Theory of studying II.

So muggers and ultra smart people have high To and the rest of us don't, or maybe just somewhere in between. If we assume everyone's brain have the same maximum threshold temperature, smart people will have high k, which means their △T will not increase so fast given an increase in internal energy, so their brains won't overheat and get fried from excess studying...

Let us now plot a productivity level against hours studied graph. From my previous theory, we learnt something called the general procrastination level (GPL) on the pseudo AD-AS curve in the Theory of studying II. However, it was impossible to determine the effective work (studying) done by the brain in both my theories. Now with this graph, we can do so more easily.

Firstly, this is the definition for the y-axis.
The productivity of a person, p = k (studying constant) - GPL
So GPL will have a opposite relation to p.

Now lets get started.

Here are 5 examples to illustrate how our bodies work.

Look at process 1, the arrow pointing to south-east, for normal people like us, as we study, our GPL (procrastination) will rise, hence our productivity levels fall. The effective work done when we study from a hours to b hours is given by the red area + pink area, i.e. area underneath the curve, but of course the hours studied must increase. The reason of how people can actually study so long is given in my theory of studying I, where there is a multiplier effect on the hours studied. However, this graph shows us the ACTUAL, EFFECTIVE WORK that we do when we study.

As we learnt from Thermal Physics II, this process is a isothermic process, the effective work done (W) = the procrastination, distractions (D) and wasted energies that we do, but this cools and relaxes the brain down such that there is no increase in its temperature, we won't overheat our brains when we study with rest or distractions! It is a isothermic process!

Now, we look at process 2. This one is when we study really hard and with lots of productivity, the effective work done between a hours and c hours is the entire coloured area, a lot right!!! Usually smart people can attain that easily, because they can study really well... however, this is a isobaric (isproductic) process, meaning that productivity does not fall with increase in effective work done W, and that there are no distractions D, hence the internal energy and temperature rises, our brain works at higher capacity! If the temperature exceeds To, overheating occurs! However, as I said earlier, smart people have less tendency to reach To because of their high k.

In the long run, if To is reached, process 4 would occur, our productivity levels would plunge from c to d because GPL levels would spike. We need a break from studying (like me now). The effect of this sudden slacking after lots of study is that the brain "cools" itself rapidly, a isochoric (isohouric) process since no studying occurs in this period but lots of slacking, procrastination is done.

If we continue to study, illustrated by process 5, our effective work done is very low, only the pink area for ab hours studied, compared to the larger area in process 1. We would need a break to increase our productivity levels, to increase our productivity levels as shown in process 3. We prepare our brains up by warming it (figuratively) by reducing our procrastination by a lot without doing much effective work.

Ok this sums up my 3 series of studying laws. Hope you all have enjoyed this read, I certainly have enjoyed writing this as well, see you all and goodnight.

Just like a pill

2011-10-08T22:51:00.004+08:00

Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you're just like a pill
Instead of makin' me better, you keep makin' me ill
You keep makin' me ill

I think I won't make it... everyone says that I will do well for exams, yet right now, I'm struggling with depression 1 month before A levels wtf. And a plethora of problems. I pray I will be all right, I really don't know because if I feel lonely I won't be able to study well. And it isn't nice to know that people ignore your smses, although it happens to me all the time (maybe I really chat too much), but I thought you were my really good friend. Sigh...

Fck it man, what am I going to do now. I wish I could just dig out my brain that desperately has so much social needs, I'm a Sim that has rapidly deteriorating social bar, and when I check my friendships I realize I have many light green ones, and little, if not none, green ones. My life is such a mess, and its my own undoing. *ruffles hair*, I don't want to jeopardize the current friendships I have, it really really sucks, who do I rely on in these situations.

---
It's drizzling at 2:30am, after a nice DotA round. I hope this happiness stays for a while longer.

城裡的月光

2011-10-07T22:54:00.002+08:00

This is one really really good Chinese song... the voice is perfect, the melody awesome (like a wedding song), and it reflects my current state of my mind now, reflective, sentimental, joyful yet with a tinge of regret. (to be continued)...

Hmm... I have really run out of good things to blog... this blog was more interesting back then, but then again its loaded with ranty stuff. It's nice to know people appreciate and like my post, hahaha thanks everyone :) I find the card idea very nice, where everyone writes earnest and nice comments about each other... usually it's awkward when you say it out, and you would not have thought so much about it, but when we do we reorganize our thoughts, our memories and of course learn how to treasure our friendships more.

Thinking back, this has been a long two years, it was dreadful but yet enjoyable at times, it's funny, how you dread the monotony and restrictions of school but yet you treasure all these moments because of the people around you. It shows how friends do matter in life after all. And in J1, I was trying SO HARD to find my place in my class, in the school, in society... everyone was happy and I wasn't, I just totally shut myself out from the world because everyone seemed so different, the way they have fun and laugh about things are different too. It was regretful and sian because if I had tried to talk people more, then I would definitely know more about everyone. But actually I was looking for loners to talk to, like I always do. Apparently there was none. Arrgh.

I feel like the "nobody Roxas" at times, not in the literal sense, but it's just a character in the Kingdom Hearts manga. A person who can never connect to his/her friends, perhaps just a person watching by the sidelines, listening to everyone speak and occasionally laughing a bit, but yet treasures all these little moments, but they will just be lost in time as my memories, I hope all our hearts can be bonded together as one ^^

J2 was nicer because at least I got to know more people, but it's kind of a "too little too late" thing, I just take too long to settle down don't I. Even now, I can't say that I know everyone really well, or that I'm really good friends with everyone... it's just my nature, I have a mechanism that shuts myself out from the world, and I don't like to talk. I have nothing much to share about my life, secondary school was a blur too because there were many aspects that I didn't enjoy..

Oh wells, I always think that "the grass is greener on the other side", I look at all the happy faces in school with their class, and I have always longed for a really good friend here in this class, but I guess if you look closely enough, actually everything is not as perfect as it seems. Every class is often quite divided, because it's so hard to find people with the same style and personality! But then again, I find it quite amazing, like how my friends expressed today at the CT reflection session, that we try to accommodate and accept everyone, and of course live harmoniously. I guess that's the merits of this class... it's a nice class after all, and my friends tell me that...

The mind does not remember factually, it remembers by impressions. So every memory you have is a impression, and often has a emotion linked to it. Because all events in our lives are neutral, but because of our ability to reflect and emote, the events become colourful and memories become beautiful crystals of the past. That's why we remember some things that were impactful and forget the rest, but we just have this affinity to people that we've been a long time with because all the memories coalesced into this huge impression and sweet memory of the person.

In short, my class is very accepting, and I really appreciate that... everyone is nice and friendly, I could have talked more and tried to integrate myself but I didn't :( but it seems we are all quite different... but nevertheless... 1 more month to go... I wish everyone all the best (and of course jy, work hard!) for the A levels!!! I wrote that on everyone's paper, such a boring statement but yet it contains my genuine wish for everyone. I kind of wrote too much in everyone's cards :X I guess I prefer to express myself in words, as you can see here. A tsunami of words, waves and waves coming every 2 days or so hahahaha...

Memories and academics (edit)

2011-10-04T22:28:00.001+08:00

*Tuesday, 4 October 2011*

I can't remember many of the things that I have studied, it seems that my memory only lasted throughout that period of space and time, but because things are always evolving, nothing is this world is ever constant. As I enjoy the last few days with my classmates that I have grew accustomed to, I enjoy their presence and watch as they laugh and smile over trivial things, while I try to join them at times (although always failing), and instead I just keep quiet and enjoy these moments of life as they fly pass me. One moment, I'm walking pass this alley, another, I'm walking pass it again, but with different people, different lessons and at a different time. Things will never be the same again.

I sit down with my cup of tea (or coffee), sipping quietly as I listen to them talk loads of random and nonsensical stuff which others will think as illogical and unrefined speech (like this unprepared blog post). However, it doesn't really matter what we speak, it is the language of the heart, the friendship that binds. I don't think it matters any more if people judge me for what I am, the weirdo who drinks coffee like an uncle in the canteen, or all those small little bad habits I have, which strangers tend to pounce on and hence label you as "an awful individual", as long as I keep my close friends, I am really happy :) and I know I have...

Even though regrettably we can't keep all our friends forever in life (this statement is layered!), I treasure every moment spent together with everyone, treasure every friendship I have, even if my friends have went on to seek new friends in new environments. Our minds and memories do not travel at the speed of light, but they are able to transcend time and space to keep what we desire to hold, although ironically it has helped us to unravel the world's greatest mysteries of the dimensions and laws of nature. We are even able to travel back in time through memories, live the present, and plan the future. That is something that even Einstein can't explain...

I regret the mistakes and things that I didn't accomplish here, the friends I didn't make and the poor results at times, but I celebrate the joy of studying here (omgosh!) and the frozen times that have been encapsulated in my memory forever, it's like saving a DotA replay of a scene with ultra poor quality and it gets worse over time but whenever you think of it your heart warms and you feel joy fondly remembering these times. It's like even if your memory is warped or lost, the hearts that bind people together will always be there. Even if I lost you as a friend, or if either of us forgets about each other, our hearts will connect and we will be together in the dimension that defies space and time, our memories... Kingdom hearts taught me this...

I don't know how much my classmates like me, but I kind of like them a lot hahaha awww, at the start of 2010 I was in full rant force about my life, but thinking about it now maybe it wasn't so bad, especially after I began to open myself to the world, not that I have totally learnt how to stop losing myself in layers of trance or anything like DotA though. Even now as I'm still a quiet person watching by the sidelines as people attempt to have fun and perhaps find joy in our lives, I have indeed learnt a lot from this class...

*On Monday 3 October*

✐

Actually this is for my own reference only, but also for your entertainment :/, although I said I would stop blogging hahaha...

This is the performance of my results relative to the cohord... looks really cyclical sigh... not trying to show off here or anything (and no intention to because it's dumb and also there are quite a few people who did better than me), I'm not showing my absolute results anyway...

Yes, A levels is 35 days away OMGG

So the random trends I realized are...

My results are unpredictable and cyclical... it's like I get complacent once I done well and work hard once I do badly.
My chemistry and economics improved quite a lot over the 2 years, my physics and mathematics is quite strong and GP results is just crazy fluctuations.
Improvements in some subjects will always mean a deterioration in others for me, never had a good day where everything improved.
This one is the scariest- my GP and Chemistry performance are always going in opposite directions - is that a hint that both of them are very demanding...
My best performing subjects are different every test, but I have NEVER done well for GP...
At the very first test, the order of my performance in descending order is physics, mathematics, economics and chemistry, now it's the opposite round =.= looks like a price is paid for neglecting some subjects for others.

Letting go

2011-09-30T22:08:00.003+08:00

I'm letting my blog go.... that should be what I need to do... I'm tired, I'm sick of studying but I know I got to do this... I cannot run away, I don't know if I can do this. I feel like an empty shell, my results may be good, but I'm just hollow, I feel like a nobody... like a emotionless body dissociated from the soul, which is hiding itself in the depths of trance and manga and computer games etc., it's a really bad time to lose my meaning of life.

It's kind of funny how I'm reading this manga... instead of those popular ones like Bleach, One Piece and so on... I guess I don't like draggy stories, and this one just stirred my interest a bit, now I got mindf**ked by it, but blending fiction with reality can be deadly, isn't it?

Even "nobodies" in manga desire for something to hold on, have fun with, rely on and have faith on in life... it is called friends... something so beautiful created by the divine one. Why am I feeling so empty when I have friends? Is it because I don't trust anybody, or because I desire for a friend that is always by my side, caring for me, having fun with me...

Source: http://www.mangafox.com

Source: http://www.mangafox.com

Need to snap back, come back to reality, switch off the computer for good, I hope I can do this... goodbye everyone, I love you all, please come back soon but study hard now... if you miss my blog you can read those nicer posts at the blue drop down box on the right saying "HOT theories and randomness".

Kingdom ♥ (edit x2)

2011-09-26T01:07:00.004+08:00

Source: http://www.mangafox.com

Pretty nice manga, pulls the emotions and brings you to a new world. It makes you question about your own memories, like are they really that important in life? What is they are changed, or if they are lost? Sometimes I really want to be lost in these types of virtual world... or at least if there was some ideal world that I'm always with my good friends and I have some pretty cool powers and everything... it's just that in life it doesn't always have a happy ending like mangas do.

We are all writing our own "mangas", our own life stories... and they intertwine and overlap with other people we know, we change the story with every action we do, even though if you believe in fate perhaps everything has been written for us already... but we definitely must do our best to set this manga right, because we only have one chance...

*edit* (pardon me for such randomness)

Source: http://www.mangafox.com

This has got to be the most tragic moment in the manga (although some parts were like quite lame, this was emotional :X)... to summarize crudely, the main character Sora had lost his memories in a castle and had to regain it by sleeping in a special capsule, and meanwhile another person Roxas was born into existence in a temporary period of time, where he supposedly had 3 very good friends (from left) shown in the first frame, but he (Roxas) eventually understood he would vanish completely for Sora to awaken...

When Sora awakens he finds himself making friends with the same friends - fate must be playing with them (although short-lived) that Roxas had... and he suddenly cries when he bids them farewell because although his memories (that he was Roxas was lost), his heart weeps out and he cries unknowingly...

This frame was stuck in my head for at least today, so I had to write it out to release it! Hahaha I find myself getting more isolated and disconnected from reality already as I indulge in this manga and trance music... my mind is trying to escape, but I know I can't because time is short and I don't wanna forget everything and screw my exams now. I really hope I don't. And all these stuff aren't real, I need to remind myself. But sometimes I dread exams and life so much that I end up getting pulled into all these -.-

Memories will fade, when we leave this world they are gone... but the hearts that were once linked together will always be...

*thurs 29 september*

Still listening to trance music... hahaha I really love it, I have transcended from the often meaningless pop music that everyone seems to be following, although it's really a hasty generalization to say all pop songs are just meaningless skeletons of lyrics with catchy pop tunes, because there are as much good pop songs as much as there is bad.

It's just that my former favourite station, Radio 913 plays so much teen pop songs that are so senseless which pisses me off, they may have become popular with thousands of fans but I'm feeling it's more distanced away from me already as they neglect all the true pop music. Wth la, I have been listening to like 10 years, when they were still WKRZ and also in the years when they were experimenting with the design and concept of the station, now it's just gone kabut. Hope their manager sees this so that they can improve sigh. Anyway I must say Power 98 and 98.7 have a lot of these good ole tracks...

Trance, eurodance, pop techno, hardcore, electronic, house... so many genres just in that one big genre of "techno", some people just hear techno then they go "urrgh", the truth is there is as much variety in techno as there are in pop music, although it's those music where you either like or don't like...

Chionged 1000 pages of manga in like 3 days... hahaha oh wells, I envy the characters in the manga for their carefree lives (although these fictional stories are predictable and always have happy endings) and their good friends, the real buddies. I mean it's so hard to find a friend that is good to you, and yet is always with you when you need him/her sigh... do I really have any? Am I a good friend to others? Doubt so. I wish I could interact with people more and find more good friends...

Anyway, I want to finish it and start studying to have a proper closure, because A levels are so f**king close and I'm still on the computer. As Mr Ho says, I'm getting complacent, and I know it, I know myself and yet I'm still writing my blog that no one reads, my grades are highly cyclical... good, bad, good ,bad... sigh... but GP is mostly bad except for one tyco C last time, sigh its like if you like the comprehension and it relates to you then you will do well... or else...

But I must say today was a glimmer of hope and happiness for me,

Source: http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/

it's awkward when people praise you (I just say thanks but I keep really quiet to be sensitive to others, but it just looks like I'm antisocial hahaha)... but in any case I hope I will work hard and not forget all these little things... like how I crumbled on a mere O level Chinese paper and loads more, ah brings back complacent memories :P ...

No More Tomorrows

2011-09-26T00:26:00.004+08:00

Excerpts of a biography book I am reading... really really heart-wrenching and sad...

"When I flew to Bali on 8 October 2004, I imagined my biggest problem was going to be deciding which sarong to wear with which bikini..." Schapelle Corby

It was meant to be a holiday. A two-week break in a tropical paradise to celebrate a sister's birthday. But for Schapelle Corby it ended up a waking nightmare. Arrested at Denpasar airport when marijuana was found in her boogie-board bag, she had become the real-life victim of every traveller's darkest fear. More than 4 kilograms of drugs had been placed in her bag after she'd checked it in. Though completely innocent, she was forced to face the consequences of someone else's crime in a country where the penalties for drug smuggling are among the harshest in the world...

Her trial and conviction become one of the biggest news stories of the decade resonating around the globe, and her family watched in horror as she was sentenced to 20 years in jail. Yet despite the huge media coverage, the one voice the public never properly heard was Schapelle...

This is the video of her sentencing... so heart-wrenching... pray for her early release... (video got removed on Sunday =.= sorry)

When I told my dad about the book I read, my dad said he actually believed that she smuggled the drugs... seriously I have nothing to say, should I blame the media being so mean, humiliating her and totally ripping her private life apart and also influencing people's beliefs.

In any sense, whether she's innocent or not, I think she doesn't deserve a horrible 20 years prison which is barely liveable while other prisoners do some horrible crimes and yet get lighter offences.

It really shows how life can be unpredictable, unfair and tragic... so while we are here living pretty decent lives, let us all treasure what we have.

Mindblowing article

2011-09-23T13:16:00.001+08:00

Click here if you want and are ready to find out more... this is one article that is definitely just not a conspiracy theory... it's just overwhelming evidence...

In house!

2011-09-21T15:27:00.005+08:00

So long nv play in house DotA le T_T so happy now, like found a temporary meaning to life LOL... here are 3 games played by us!!! Muahahaha... (if anyone wants to view just download). Sorry for those who I didn't call :(( next time ok this one trial!!! Many more to come ESPECIALLY after A level!

LastReplay1.wcg (796.44K)

LastReplay2.wcg (937.47K)

LastReplay3.wcg (809.81K)

Playing in house DotA matches bring me back to the past, being the thicked skinned fella (and when we were even younger it wasn't me who called people to play! People like Kenny, Jay, and my 2I friends did it.... oh yeah for me I'm a bitch organizer because I would call everyone to play at 8pm and come at 9 LOL and then wait one hour for people to fix their Warcraft III issues while we talked... *slap myself*. But we would play until almost 1am rawrr with those crazy matches I saved at least 30 of them...

And then it would conflict with our NPCC ~~Brandon's~~ soccer match so I would rush home trying to fix a match, or sadly leave early... too addicted to DotA already. I like both soccer and DotA, just that you would rather play the game you are better in right hahaha. And the regular visits to the Ban Mian stall... haix those were the days. (to be continued)

OH AND MY LONG OVERDUE 600TH POST!!! Sigh... after papers tomorrow ba, not like people will read it but still it's a historical post, literally and figuratively!! I publishing ALL the old replays LOL if I have a lot of time...

Conspiracy? You bet.

2011-09-21T08:12:00.000+08:00

Techno

2011-09-19T19:00:00.003+08:00

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YouTube has a lot of these wonderful escapist songs :/ really good especially after you completed a crazy paper... just that haven't started studying...

These songs are by DJ Contacreast, if you DARE to try out trance go ahead :D

Tedious paper

2011-09-18T00:08:00.002+08:00

I just had to do this...

God created mass and energy, space and time. Humans created techno :D:D

Econs rubbish

2011-09-16T22:22:00.007+08:00

Google searches really bring humour to a new level sometimes, because I have a tracker on my blog, so I can see what people are finding when they come here... someone typed "how to get from F9 to A1 for biology student" LOL its like a month before O levels lo...

I remember I didn't like biology last time, there were easy parts like food chains hehehe but there were some really chim terms especially for genetics and DNA which at the end I just switched off and memorized blankly, and then unloading on a 10 mark question when they asked me to explain the process of DNA translation, transcription (idk the order)... and physics was pretty sick too all those theories and equations that I would just memorize by heart without much understanding.

But now as I take H2 Physics I'm so glad I actually appreciate the subject and have a flair for it, it's really easier if you have interest in a topic. Imagine if I took H2 Biology which totally wouldn't have suited me with it's crazy content. For my biology, I used 20% of my time to write notes, 40% to read them and 40% to do practice papers hahaha unlike Mr Ho that only needs to do 2 math papers and get 95 marks hmmm.

Anyway, Googling for randomness can dig out some ancient and interesting pictures...

Wow in 1994 VJC wasn't doing very well to be honest, NJC and TJC were really very close in academic performance, really hope VJC continues to do well for the A level examinations...

It's a really tough balance for the schools to balance both academic and sporting talents to be a "all-rounded school" these days, I think smart students often feel left out in sporting achievements of the school while sportsmen may find it difficult to cope with their studies, although this statement may be a lil sweeping and they are not mutually exclusive, I think generally you can see the distinct groups of people and when you see this guy or girl and then you think - oh ya he/she is the smart one or from the xxx sport CCA...

Plus, I think the school could do more to integrate these two groups of people together, apart from the classes - hold like informal game events to make the school more fun, like soccer matches, chess games, LAN (hahaha), but given the limited fiscal budget we have, what to do?

Anw, today was econs and as much as I knew my content, the random questions really made me smoke through the paper!!! Sigh no more temporary glory of doing well like in CT 2 hahaha I just got thrown back to Earth.

*to be continued post*

Here goes... pretty much a sian day actually nothing to write, went for GP tuition which costs $210 for two lessons (feel so scammed but what to do?), it was helpful but not exactly value for money. Sigh... and the more I listened the more panicky I got for GP, it's not that I'm bad in it but its just how you convey yourself in the writing and my ability to think of a broad scope for a topic that worries me.

Studying with friends but ended up throwing some pretty bad attitude at them plus I was tired :( sometimes I do hate myself and it's perhaps of this that I rather be alone and not sour my relationships with people... what to do? But if I don't talk I will feel quite sad... don't really want to lose my little good friends that I have (can finish counting with my fingers) but when I'm bad I am really in a bad mood.

Life sucks so bad when I look into the future then I see National Service, then I have to try to get into a hopefully alright university, and .... my new GP tutor just made it worse by saying that in the army your brain will rot LOL and of course must submit to authority (kinda know that but it's like arggh don't wanna think about it).

The good thing about learning about Physics is that you know that the gravitational field strength is super strong 9.81ms^-2 for all objects big and small, including a falling human and hence it's gonna be real painful when you jump down from your HDB building LOL.

Plus, you will fall down extremely fast (within 5 seconds) which is extremely scary to think about so this has a absolutely prohibitive effect on my occasional radical thoughts. But as soon as I get rational I will just continue on with my life hahaha.

Been listening to emo but motivational songs like Courage by Orianthi and also Superman by Five for fighting, super nice~ it's like a great coincidence and cheap thrill to have the YouTube video being published on your birthday :D

Anw, there are also hidden talents in YouTube like this that are not that hard to find... no autotune damn good I rather these people stay these way (non mainstream pop music, although ironically this song can be considered a good pop song?), fame just strips people of freedom and I firmly believe that Hollywood is pretty evil and everything.

Halfway gone

2011-09-16T01:15:00.002+08:00

Blogging at insanely late times again, 1:16am haha, and tml is econs exam. Luckily I had a 2 hour nap just now, so now I can't fall asleep also :/, hopefully I won't be so tired to do my examinations tomorrow.

I'm pretty amazed at how people are visiting my blog during the exam period, apart from random Googlers who find Dota pictures and other nonsensical writings on my blog to amuse them, there are my regular visitors ^^ plus some random blog-hoppers (prolly from VJC) since my blog has been here for a while. And ever since I linked this to Twitter people probably click the link and come here too only to realize I put my initials of my name lolol, so now I guess I'm just gonna change it back.

Really hope my examinations will be fine, this is the A levels after all... but the fact that we are studying for A levels means that most of us would probably succeed in life, depending on how you define success lo, for me I prefer a stable & happy life than rich life, although I don't mind more money LOL.

The exams is halfway gone - one week has passed, another will come, and my body and mind is also halfway gone, kinda tired of studying but still gotta move on. Actually it's cool when you see the exam paper and you know instantly what to write in a few minutes, you totally spend your time wisely and it a sign of confidence of the things you have studied, which I had for Chemistry (not Physics surprisingly), but it's also about the answering techniques which I lack.

And hence, I have desperately signed up for a GP tuition alone... so emo right, and it's pretty expensive, I really hope I listen intently and pick up all the essay skills that my dear GP teacher didn't teach :( seriously the tuition industry is an industry that was formed because of the inadequacy, if not partial failure, of the education system. Arrghh. ~~How can we leave fate to some of our teachers...~~.

But in a balanced statement I would want to say that VJ has pretty good teachers too, generally my teachers are fine *ahem*, I like the old teachers in the Physics department, they got a aura of wisdom and knowledge around them that inspires me to do better LOL.

Econs also got some good teacher but with great variations hahaha, some are entertaining, some are entertaining and syllabus-orientated, and others are boring and spinning their talks to all directions of the universe that probably won't help your studies.

Chemistry teachers are generally fine :) sometimes a little boring but what to do? It's a pretty technical, scientific and mathematical topic... and maths teachers also got a normal distribution of good and bad :X and of course in every school also got some teachers that we find annoying :(

Still pretty much living a solitary life, my weird habits and anti-social behaviour dominates over my friendly or quirky personality even though I know some people (and they know me too, or just my existence), not really good friends with them :( and then there are some friends that very long never contact already like Sec school friends and bowling friends!!! HAHA

I guess loneliness is your own perception, if you like being alone (I'm slowly enjoying my existence in the universe) then you won't be sad, hopefully it lasts.

Ok nuff said, time to sleep :/

Lights

2011-09-12T18:39:00.003+08:00

Nice dubstep song - dubstep is electronic dance (Wikipedia), I got one 1,000,000 points for this in the Tap Tap song!! LOL do I get a award from this... all thanks to my dad lo, the same dad that told me to replace the spectacle part that rests on your nose but he wanted the old parts back (it's like so cheap lol), and then the next thing he splurges on a iPad... wth... but I shouldn't complain because I got a lot of Tap Tap songs to play!!! At a horrible time when I should be studying :(

P.s. sorry, I have an obsession of posting videos that you all will be unlikely to listen, because I open my own blog and listen to it myself haha so tragic.

Today go back to school, saw all my classmates lolx, I think I always talk all the wrong stuff, then when I see my friends I also feel kinda lost of words, like want to talk but don't know what to say! And when I see a relatively popular friend with some of his friends idk if I should say hi since he/she saw me already... haha

To celebrate the end of the Physics (at least P3) and the arrival of Maths, I have summarized the paragraph above into a single mathematical form.
So lame right omg... this blog is getting boring :(

Sigh, careless in Physics fail, I think I should sleep early to be more concentrated...

10 years on

2011-09-10T22:21:00.003+08:00

We're in heaven

A song for the people who perished in 9/11, rest in eternal peace...

It's a decade already, and today I spent as much time studying as I watched the television for 9/11 10th anniversary update, there was a documentary on CNA, and it was really very sad to hear the people talking on the phone, saying their goodbyes to their loved ones. My eyes went a little red... still kinda red when I think of it because the act of that terrorism is so horrible and their deaths were tragic, and I could feel all the love between the families which was so touching.

And then there were heroes, true heroes that emerged from the crisis, be it the firefighters climbing up the staircase with such bravery, or the people on the airplane who fought with the hijackers and willingly sacrificed their lives to put down the plane.

The sad part is people seem to have forgotten about it, or don't seem to care. Just look at the Twitter trends for example, they'd rather trend "today is 09-10-11" and KPOP groups (wtf) rather than write something meaningful like "RIP 9/11". Haha I know I'm just too demanding on the society, and it's like I'm standing on some moral high ground which I don't belong to because I am just as flawed as any other individual.

Gdnite

Bob Cullen (edited)

2011-09-08T23:59:00.004+08:00

An example of the wrong use of social media

As a medium to boost the ego of oneself (we all need that sometimes, but it wasn't wise to post pictures of yourself online and label them inappropriately)
Sarcastic comments on his actions - I think we should just give him a break, by putting mean remarks it just shows that we are uncivilized individuals, but then again, it's kind of out of control, and entertaining, I couldn't sleep ytd because of that LOL
And I don't understand the massive hate on Twitter (ok now I do after clarification from my friends).
It's very humorous yet kind of a dumbed down humour...

Talk about a contradicting post hahha

H&M crowd at Bayville

2011-09-04T16:29:00.004+08:00

Wow! So much people at H&M LOLOL as I drive my car down Bayville, the city of NFSU2. Their boutique shop looks awesome. I have some money to spare too ^^ so I shall go shopping too!

Ok, I know my Photoshopping skills are atrocious...

I took quite a while to crash all the cars and push them using my cars to the side LOL how no life right...

See the other pictures.

[emo] Walao I always get daoed in my life, damn sian lol. Are my SMSes or other messages so crappy? :( [/emo]

Courage

2011-09-03T00:10:00.002+08:00

Courage is when you're afraid,
But you keep on moving anyway

Courage is when you're in pain,
But you keep on living anyway

Courage is when you've lost your way,
But you find your strength anyway

Courage is when you're afraid
Courage is when it all seems grey
Courage is when you make a change,
And you keep on living anyway
You keep on moving anyway
You keep on giving anyway
You keep on loving anyway

I can totally empathize with the fella who wanted to quit university because he had no friends. Well people say that university graduates are rational thinking and won't be so extreme - hence he's a rare case, but really everyone longs for someone that they can confide in and talk to everyday. So don't judge loners if you have a lot of friends y'know.

Studying all day these days- but at least with my friends, so it's pretty productive. But when I reach home, there's this sense of hopelessness and emptiness in me that makes me reluctant to do work - and instead seek some entertainment on the computer to ameliorate my loneliness and also to distract myself away from the wretched world of studying.

Happy is a perspective huh - wish it really was.

San Francisco

2011-09-01T23:45:00.004+08:00

Ah I will just break my 600th post today T_T it sucks knowing you can't write anything, haven had time to plan a pretty nice blog post about the great history of this site too hehehe *shameless*. Thanks everyone for still visiting this lonely spot.

I'm really losing interesting stuff to write, I used to be able to put up some pretty retarded theories to amuse all of you hahaha, now I have degenerated to a lowly ranter, I should just keep a diary or something T_T. But then again, sometimes I use my blog to subliminally reach out to all my friends muahhahahahahahahaa

Sigh, life sucks so bad these days. Have to study, and I'm very unmotivated. Which caused me to flop my GP and Econs essay planning (took too long for both!!!), then end up rushing everything T_T SIAN. So freaking scared... sometimes I feel like succumbing to pressure and take tuition (the extra boost that everyone seem to have), but quite a few people mentioned that it's not worth paying for GP tuition, especially since I haven't put in at least 80% of what I can do.

Another music video :( to fill up my blog - it's Cascada!!! One of my favourite techno/electro music bands. Woooo~ she's pretty pretty too hehehe especially with that cool personality she exudes, I don't really admire singers that overdo themselves, like wear a meat dress or dress like a man. That's more eccentric than me already.

So cool la I wish I could just dance all night instead of studying sigh...

I think about one week ago, I dreamt of being in a city in Australia. It was beautiful, there were modern skyscrapers and also beautiful heritage buildings, the city, its people and the environment felt so awesome - I laid down on a seemingly big plaza and just looked up in the sky. I could see street lights, nice trees and people walking around and talking cheerfully, no stress (or so it seems), then there were quite a few nice shops too, but I forgot who I went with already :( since I didn't bother to jot it down when I woke up (that really helps in remembering dreams).

But idk it seems to good to be true, I think it must be the big Toa Payoh plaza outside the library that gave me that inspiration for my dream HAHA, maybe it was Melbourne, it was ranked first as the most liveable cities in a recent survey. Let us now compare how the city looks like between SG and Melbourne.

Singapore vs Melbourne

City Skyline

Image source: http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2139/2366081282_a7e40a3772.jpg

Source: http://www.freebestwallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Singapore_River.jpg

Melbourne definitely wins Singapore in having huge skyscrapers just look at the buildings man, but I guess we should commend Singapore's effort in building a pretty nice bay ^^ Singapore's one is very organized but looks a bit artificial, but Melbourne's skyline really shows a big and prosperous city hehe because skyscrapers usually aren't built near a river! But since we are doing a bay then I guess our skyline is innovative enough too.

I like how we use our bay to our advantage - we can use it for National Day, YOG, F1 race, everything under the sun fit into a small bay, super pragmatic yet stylish. Like our MM said, make ourselves look like Venice ^^ but still got long way to go la.

River and shophouses

Source: http://blogs.statravel.com.sg/journal/region_images/australia_victoria_melbourne.jpg

Source: http://www.antoyoussef.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/singapore_024.jpg

Melbourne's shophouses look better designed too, Singapore's ones doesn't look like one from a developed country, but a developing country transitioning to a developed country - and there's that Singapore feeling in all these architecture that I can't describe in words, for better or worse. Plus less modern buildings for Singapore's river, we preserved those 1970s and 80s shophouses, they look pretty run down compared to those towering modern buildings in Melbourne. We should put more bold and classical street lights along the river to make it look more glitzy and stuff like that.

Other shops and venues

Image source: http://www.metrolic.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/3melbourne-australia.jpg

Image source: http://streetswiki.wikispaces.com/file/view/melbourne.jpg/128965193/melbourne.jpg

Source: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yszvL2ptIoc/TLsKFIebo0I/AAAAAAAAAMo/f2XOqCaFEto/s1600/Singapore_OrchardRoad.jpg

Source: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b8/Toa_Payoh_Town_Centre_4,_Aug_06.JPG

Both countries have their own flavours of plazas and shops, I think Melbourne's one looks more diverse and have better design but Singapore's one is pretty good too because it has this distinct Singapore flavour, but it's kind of funny because in most of the heartlands (Toa Payoh above), while we see pretty modern walkways, all the shops are those selling cheap household goods (some may say inferior goods) rather than high-class/end goods and services.

Then at Orchard Road you have those crazily overpriced luxury goods that most Singaporean would never touch ever in their lives ~~it's really to earn lots of tourist money you know~~ *ahem*. Oh and if you are walking down Orchard Road it's mostly shopping centres, not those small quaint pretty shops in Melbourne that you will stop by, drink some coffee and chill. So it kind of reflects our lifestyle too- hectic, pragmatic, always on the go and working hard to earn lots of money. Maybe our architecture and city planning should evolve and include some chill elements to allow people to enjoy life better than the urban city. ^^ URA planner in the making HAHA

Disclaimer: I tried to make comparisons using a few pics and my knowledge only, it's my own opinions but I welcome discussion hahaha, especially if you all are so free to visit my blog and not study :P. And no copyright infringement intended. I hope you all didn't find it hard to differentiate which pictures belonged to which countries hehehe.

Sorry for the rushed post, need to catch up on sleep. Goodnite!

People who care (edited above n below)

2011-08-23T20:44:00.002+08:00

This song found my way into my head... such a gem in the sea of junk songs nowadays... motivational + great tunes ttm... took pretty long to find it though :( but finally it's up here - if you studying for prelims listen to this ok!! Gives you hope...

A horribly ugly picture I made :), this pretty much classifies the people around you. People who care about you + People who somewhat care + People who don't care about you = full set. But sometimes I'm having much difficulty finding out who are the people in green and orange, I'm getting weary trying to be caring and helpful to people who don't appreciate sometimes, they just won't be your friend, especially I should spend my energy on studies instead so that it's more allocative efficient.

So Imma beginning to adopt the Huanglism theory LOL (my friend's sirname since he created this), it just means that I protect myself and set up lots of barriers to totally block out the people in red, because sometimes I try too hard to talk to people (which is unlike me), I only trust people who care about me now, and of course dedicate all my energies for them (in whatever assistance they need), so that I can be a good friend to everyone who treats me as one, who accepts my flaws, and includes me in their conversations. I know I have lots of bad habits, lots of things I can do better in, and I'm not a good conversationalist too, but I try hard everyday, idk if people ever realized that haha. I really can't stand awkward situations sometimes.

So yes I'll be very nice to the people in green, but it's just that sometimes the orange area is pretty ambiguous, there's a lot of people lying in that range, some more green than orange, some more red than orange, then there are people pretending to be orange when they are red =.= so it's like should I even being nice to them. OR just totally dao these orange-red/red/pseudo-orange people hahaha. Should I?

Sometimes I find that people judge others too quickly, and also judge others unfairly. It's so human nature to do it, I mean I'm also tempted to just blacklist some people into my "hideous chaps" list... and I have probably done it. But in judging others, we too often forget we are infallible, so prone to faulting, so flawed like a cracked diamond, you can polish yourself all you want but it just hides the cracks... #justranting

Sigh... no time no time, wth am I doing here. Indulging in techno/dance/trance songs like Mr Huang does hahahaha, only emo people do that, engulfing themselves in a detached state of world to hide from reality. :) but it's just so nice to do that.

Anw, the school is really crazy, they are sending us all the answer keys and lecture notes online, like we have time to view everything, let alone print it. Too much resources, I guess this even something to rant about because the school does care for us. But all my suggestions on ISay never got a response zzzzz (I put 3 in a row), and I think all these concerns are like so valid, seriously wth... someone ksed my idea and it got replied instead of mine. =.= haha just being a typical bitch ranter here.

Nice instrumental tune of Rain Over Me - I should just change the song to "Rant Over Me" and rap all my rants. #lame

If there's nothing else, ciaossu!! 599th post here omg looks like I need to postpone my 600th big post T_T

Holding my urges to blog aka rant about life... man this journey is so mean, only 1 day left to prelim sigh... I cannot imagine studying like this everyday for 60-70 days straight to A levels. Being inspired by motivational speeches is one thing, studying hard is another. Oh, and studying productively and with the most efficiency is another.

Spending time to study with my good friends these days, quite productive compared to study at home. I hate writing, so I get forced by them to do practise when I study with them, then at home I can lepak and read my notes without feeling guilty.

Sigh... I think it's my own expectations that's crushing me... I set too high liao, because I want to do even better than what I did for CT2... which is really really hard, considering that I'm not that smart like some people in this school, I still need to practice a lot.

Idk... sometimes feel like getting go a bit and slack off, but like that means I'm so slack and not so emotionally unresilient <-- I know this word don't exist but...

Sometimes having nice talks with friends can quell my loneliness quite a bit, which will always be there - even if you have many friends. Like Mrs Liew quoted from the book (is it) "The Lonely Crowd" or something. Talking to my pri school friend on MSN makes me happy, or talking to Hui Ge about ***** ** hahaha. And also random nonsensical stuff when I study with Murali or Zong Da. Well, but it just comes back everytime.

Sorry this post so boring and technical... don't think anyone will read this too (you shouldn't be, you should be studying).

My mum still b*ching about the PE results, pretty amusing to listen. A lot of angst within Singaporeans about the bad government policies, the vote margin between TT and TCB is so small (7000 votes+ -so close man) that if you move some votes from TKL or even rejected votes to TCB he could have won. Sigh... I will just keep my political thoughts in my head... I think social media and the Internet is like the needle that pops the balloon of angst within Singaporeans (which has been expanding pretty much), now everything is released and kind of out of control.

Alamak

2011-08-20T01:02:00.003+08:00

Haha it's 1:02am... Murali's gonna kill me so bad for sleeping late cos I gonna study tomorrow. Plus my bro... and maybe my parents.

Just played like 2 DotA games with friends, and friends friends. Very fun... I don't mind losing, the game is exciting and it's nice to chill with everyone in the virtual world, somewhere where ~~we belong~~ can not think about examinations which is ~~about 10 days away~~. Oops I didn't say anything. :(

Fun fun fun. Life is so distorted when your aims is not to ace prelims, but dream of playing DotA, talking to friends, or having a nice meal (like Thaipan etc.). Hahaha maybe that's normal, idk, but now kinda having a DotA hangover so not really making sense.

And from everyone's ecstatic about the latest game - DotA 2!!! SG team is good man, just that I cheated and jump scenes in the vid to watch their big fights - so lazy to watch everything.

From my opinion, DotA 2 looks like League of Legends interface, my bro plays it and he says it's nicer than DotA, I kinda beg to differ though - but Garena keeps persuading to play it when I off the program and this promotion vid comes up.

BUT it's still pure DotA gameplay & heroes (like 95%) - pretty cool but the heroes look quite big and clumsy... maybe cos I can't see the hero legs when I watch the video in normal size. The graphics nice but a bit too boomz, need some time to get use to the overwhelming graphics, when a major fight ensues I don't even know what's happening.... but it's really very nice... refreshing change after like 8 years of Blizzard's Warcraft III... just that I wonder what the fate of DotA I would be like... only time will tell.

Long Friday/Saturday MSN chat with Ben Huang, my prehistoric but long-lasting ultra friend LOLOL (chatting with him now 1:31am)... oh well... time sure flies since we were in primary school, wonder if you will read this... haha all the best for your prelims!

Ciaossu.

Untitled post

2011-08-15T23:18:00.002+08:00

The feeling when you want to convey a message but you don't really know how to put it.

Awkward day today. Like, suddenly I'm thrown back into school and have to talk to everyone hahaha. It's not that I don't like it but I have never really got used to talking to many people (but individually). I always say irrelevant and wrong stuff, and sometimes trys so hard to try a convo... looks like you gotta learn it someday kjx (people perfected that skill like years ago).

Adapted from Philip's curve, the curve of ~~socialism~~ conflicting objectives of social interaction

This graph shows how loneliess and awkwardness are conflicting objectives of social interaction (like inflation and unemployment). At low levels of social interaction, there is little awkwardness but high amount of loneliness, and vice versa. True because I face lots of awkward moments with people when I talk too much, but feel pretty much lonely if I don't talk. So I need to sort of keep a balance to how much to interact... but then again I suffer from a higher amount of loneliness and awkwardness than others do due to my lack in social skills.

My curve is kind of above that of normal people, or crazy sociable people who don't feel awkward talking a lot but feel very lonely if they don't talk, so the ideal talking amount for me is probably less than that of a normal person, and even lesser than that of a sociable person who can achieve both goals when they talk a lot...

Coming back to the lessons, it was like monotonous, sighhh... GP lesson was pretty interesting though, discussing about London riots and some good articles about the issue... learned two new words from my friends, exacerbate and microcosm. Actually I knew these words, but sometimes it won't come to your mind when you are writing essays. So maybe I should include all these bombastic <-- (this word doesn't look bombastic though LOL) words in my blog.

Physics was pretty stone too... doing MCQ instead with my cool friends ^^

Econs is such a weird subject. I like to see it as a big maze where you have the start and end (be it cause or effect question, policy and solution question and etc.), you need to find as many ways out from the start to end (i.e. explanation from the start point - e.g. inflation and end point - how will it lead to BOP?). There are good ways to get through the maze but you must show clearly how you do it, there are long-winded ways (probably not favoured), and there are dead ends (conceptual errors) which kills your explanation. Then occasionally you need to explain why the methods of getting out of the maze is good (evaluation) and choose the one that is best or rank in order etc.

The show goes on. No need to remind you all how many days left right, it's getting irritating when people do that everywhere in social media... sigh.

The London Riots

2011-08-12T23:29:00.003+08:00

The Blackberry Riots – The Underlying Agenda (adapted)

(source: Vigilant Citizen, I strongly encourage my faithful readers ^^ to read the full article if you are free, even if you don't believe all these elite society stuff I think it really broadens your perspectives - makes you think real deep into it and maybe make some sense on what's really happening, perhaps even offer some refreshing insights in your GP essay)

Time and time again, chaotic situations have been “allowed” – if not totally engineered – by the elite in order to create fear and panic within the general population. The distraught masses then beg the elite for an intervention and a prompt solution. The result of these interventions is almost unequivocally the same: the introduction of rules and regulations disadvantaging the average citizen while giving more (undemocratic) powers to the elite.

The new policies would not normally be accepted by the general population, but due to the panic generated by the crisis, the policies are not only accepted but welcomed with open arms. Create a crisis, make it last long enough to get the population worried and introduce the solution that was, in fact, part of the agenda all along. And the population falls for it, every single time.

Using mass media, it is easy to create widespread panic. Simply interrupting a TV show with “Breaking News” featuring a red banner at the bottom of the screen and bold letters is enough to raise the collective heartbeat of a nation, and to make it aware of a situation in a matter of minutes. In the days that follow, all media outlets constantly remind the population of this particular situation. The constant hammering makes the situation almost seem as unbearable by the population who hear about it continuously on TV and read about it in the newspapers and the internet.

After a while, the average citizen will want just one thing: the awful, nauseating feeling created by the situation to go away, whatever that takes. After the problem has dragged long enough, the media present one or several solutions. Not fully understanding this solution, but tired and annoyed, most people think: “Well, if that’s what it takes for them to shut up about this and move on to something else, then I’m all for it.”

Did the elite allow the London riots to last long enough to create a sentiment of panic? There are already sources stating that the police were ordered to stand by as the riots took place (according an article from the Daily Mail entitled Why police were so soft on London looters: They ‘were ordered to stand and observe’ as capital burned (but in Manchester they were hunting looters within hours). Furthermore, we are already seeing in the media the emergence of a specific agenda and a call to the adoption of specific policies that, predictably, go against the interests of the general public.

After a single day or rioting, an obvious agenda emerged in the media and a specific culprit was singled out by the authorities: the privacy of mobile messaging. The same way a picture of bin Laden appeared on TV screens only a few minutes after 9/11, mobile instant messaging was outed as the main cause of the London riots. Several media outlets have even dubbed these events “the Blackberry Riots”. The media, being the right hand of power, steered the attention of the public towards a specific agenda.

According to news sources, the London riots were mainly orchestrated using Blackberry’s instant messenger service (known as BBM), which is a (relatively) private service as the communications are encrypted.

After a few days of repetition, the population is convinced: The riots are not the results of inequalities or police brutality; they are the result of too much privacy in mobile communications. This cancer must be stopped. The police, or whomever else that wants to, must be able to monitor all of our communication, at all times, or our cities will burn. This is the message that is being hammered to the public. Do all of the rioters own a Blackberry? I would not think so, but that is not important. The agenda was already set.

Singled out and facing bad publicity, RIM (the company that created the Blackberry) was pressured to violate the privacy of its subscribers and to divulge their personal information. Normally, this would have caused outrage, but now, due to the riots, the the general population believes that it that it is necessary to stop these riots and to prevent other ones from taking place.

If the London riots stemmed from deep social problems involving the exclusion of the unprivileged and police brutality, the powers that are seizing the opportunity to push a specific agenda. Do not be surprised if, in the near future, news of agent provocateurs being hired to incite violence popped up in the news. Violence justifies repression. In other words, the elite needs violence to make its policies acceptable.

After just a few days of rioting (which was allowed to continue), a major shift in communication technology was introduced and accepted by the population: chat logs, GPS location and other private information can now be monitored by the authorities for “suspicious activities”. A few more days and the population will be ready to accept martial law and other tactics normally usually used in oppressive third world countries.

To be “for” or “against” the riots is, ultimately, an irrelevant debate. The most important thing to consider is the aftermath and the changes that will affect our nations for years to come. Whose interests will the riots ultimately serve? The poor people of London wanting a bigger piece of the pie? Or the ruling elite wanting to justify more control?

**end of essay**

Happy (edit)

2011-08-11T22:53:00.004+08:00

Wonder why I'm feeling pretty happy today, even though I have been studying so long in school, I wish it could always be like this. Maybe because I'm like studying with my friends Murali and Zong Da :D , and finally find my place in the society? Hahaha. It sure sucks when you know you don't belong anywhere in a group of people, then everyone has their own group of friends and everything, and you try so hard to push yourself inside a clique and you fail, like how you try to dissolve alkanes in water... finally I felt I have settled down somewhere :) #badchemistryanalogy

And perhaps because I'm talking more or just listening to random people talk and knowing them better (thanks to ZD who knows like everyone in this school hahaha) ... i.e. |z-a| = r, where a is my position in the society and r is increasing, my social circle is widening!! LOL!!!! #badcomplexjokes

Hey, you're getting so lame Mr author!

Anw, the school is just different at night... the atmosphere and everything... pretty good place to study with friends :) and of course I admire those people who study alone there (hahaha my friend really does that wow), and of course I feel happy when I see people I know :) sigh but it seems like decades ago since I talked to many of my old friends sigh.

Some things just can't be changed (i.e. my past), I guess I gotta work hard for my future, be it in studies, social life, happiness, and everything else.

Friday 11/08/11

Feels sad again LOL... perhaps I should think carefully what I define as happy or sad before I experience them because I have mood swings.

I think I feel kinda tired trying to talk or even just tolerate some people sometimes... even if its just one comment, but when I'm damn tired and emo you do anything to kachiao me I will be damn pissed. For those who read my blog of course I'm not referring to you (and I know who reads my blog!), I'm referring to people who are not really sincere when they talk to you, and then sometimes they make some remarks that I find offence in.

Not that I don't do that la, I know I'm insensitive and often talk rubbish, especially when I'm tired, stressed and everything, thats why I don't like to talk but now that I try to be more friendly I guess I'm learning to speak more intelligently? It's just that sometimes I try to talk rubbish to entertain people haha. Yeah I overdo it, but who likes a boring friend...

Anyway, I'm tired of these people, I feel like just saying something really snide and rude to shut their mouths up... yeah ok I shall stop my bitching here because I'm not even thinking rationally - I'm ab-surd (as in, surds of maths).

But then again... Lupe Fiasco says: (he can repeat this paragraph 1000 times and I don't get sick of it at all...)

Alright, already the show goes on
Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!

Majulah! (edited)

2011-08-09T22:41:00.004+08:00

Happy National Day everyone!!! Here are some random pictures to celebrate in this quiet corner of my blog.

Symbols of Singapore's economic success - highly reflective skyscrapers (I will rising from the ground~~ like a skyscraper!!!)

Singaporean's too rich already, nice television also throw away to garung guni cos they want to buy the new Samsung 3D LED TV that promises them out of the world experience LOL

Purple car!!! So rare I want one sia, so step hahaha.

Went to Bishan to study with my friend :), guess what I saw? Worker's Party volunteers giving out flags!!! Hehehe... I too shy to approach them.

OMG, ITS THE LEGENDARY CHEN SHOW MAO! LOL I no balls go up say hi la, lean on a pillar and pretend to sms while actually taking a picture LOL

The man in the yellow shirt looks like Mr Brown!!! SERIOUSLY! Just that I didn't dare to take picture of him when he's closer to me, and it's invading his privacy too hahaha. If it's really him, he really got a sian face :P (like my blog address), and his legs are really slim compared to his head and body! HAHA no offence (he wont read this right)...

So cool to see people face-to-face sometimes, because they are so popular/powerful and seem like larger than life (bao x8 to tune of Backstreet Boys song). He was waiting pretty long for somebody I guess, like me LOL jk.

Random wish: to see MM Lee someday in person or at least be 200m away from him :/

Studying at Toa Payoh later with my friends!! :) the scenery so nice right...

The reflection is due to the McDonald's window, sigh too bad Singapore not much places to study. Next time I shall be an entrepreneur and open a mugger shop to allow students to study!!! Huat ah!!!

Our flag!!! One day I should wear some formal attire and pose beside the flag, so that it looks like I'm the president or prime minister (or some minor leader) hahaha.

Ok end of lameness post :)

*10 August*

Studied with my classmates in school! It was so hot :( plus I got real bad runny nose, so have to take lotsa toilet paper hahaha and later I bought a large pack of tissue paper :((

Some stalker pictures by the master of taking stalker pics :) (even my friends didnt realize)

Took picture of this woman because I respect her for being so brave to show her national pride by wearing bright red shirt and white dress :), the man on the right wasn't the focus of this picture but he looks like he just got the "i don't care" face hahaha.

Took picture of a super tall guy in front of me while walking (hence the blur image) - it's really hard to do it without getting spotted!

My Dinner :))

Actually I didn't like the vegetables a lot, so here's a closeup of the herbal chicken :DD

Sigh, I hate it when my dreams tell me what I'm really thinking. Always dreaming about being friends with a random person, is that what I really wanted all along? Having many friends? But I wonder if I can really manage so many friendships at one time (I'm a emo guy anw)...

Sometimes I try to think it as my mind connecting to a inaccessible time and space (which has infinitely small possibility of happening - because of circumstances - e.g. the teacher assigned me to this class instead of other classes or I chose this CCA instead of another, sounds a bit like chaos theory?) where the people I knew were different, hahaha wth right. It's like I'm not in the ideal possibility of space and time because of destiny, but then again the choices in my life also cause my life to change. But it's just a horrible method to console myself and I'm probably too greedy.

Anw, shall post one interesting post about the extension of my theory friendship structure soon (the graph of economies of scale --> awkwardness is different for different people, some people have low awkwardness even with a lot of friends while others can only have a few friends before their awkwardness they experience increase.

That's all. Happy to study with my classmates and find some reliable and cool friends :)

I live in Singapura

2011-08-07T23:17:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 46TH BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!

Some random rantings about people ranting LOL. We whine, lament, comprain about our lives all the time, MRT & buses crowded, public houses expensive, homework a lot, but surely there are a lot of benefits of living in Singapore, than in some really volatile and country stricken with violence like Libya??? For those who don't think rationally and consider ALL the wonderful things in Singapore with all the less than perfect issues, you will realize that you rather be born here than anywhere... ok maybe you wish you were born somewhere instead, but there's bound to be problems in every country...

I often hear people wanting to migrate (no offence or target to anyone because I have thought about this before too), but since we are chosen by destiny to be here, then why do you want to oppose it so much? If we migrate to other countries, can we really fully integrate into their society, is there absolutely zero discrimination like in Singapore? Can you adapt to their culture and relate with these people well, after all it's often the origins of the people that bonds people, like how Singaporeans were born from a common country, or like how every Chinese has a part in the millennia of Chinese history in China (a point made by our MM Lee in his new book The Hard Truths). You enter a country, you are treated as a newcomer, you know that? Plus you will miss your family and your friends here, even if you don't have any national pride or anything.

Look at America and Europe, the countries are facing problems with foreigners of other descents, races and religions, like how Singaporeans lament about foreign talent coming into the country. If you migrate, it's kinda ironic actually especially if you do not support foreign talent :P

Like these new foreigners, they are people finding a living like us in this globalized world, like how our forefathers landed in Singapore and set roots here. They didn't mean to clog up our transport system or push housing prices up... We must be open-minded and accept them graciously like true Singaporeans, and once we do, and unlock the hatred that is often irrational in us, they will assimilate smoothly into the country and only then can we build a strong national identity.

Furthermore, many countries in Europe and the US is facing huge national debt and bickering government between different parties, do you really want live in these countries, while Ch**a can definitely improve in their freedom of sp**ch/media (man do they have detectors that might ban my blog).

However, I do agree that the government can do more to manage the inflow of people into the country, and communicate better with the public with its rationale to do so, instead of hard-handedly doing the policies they want. Plus, the mismanagement of the MRT and bus system (unable to expand quickly with population boom here) has really made human traffic in public transport really horrible. Using price mechanism like COE and in housing has limits in allocating resources fairly (although it's efficient) because it favours the rich. Hence the basis for a meritocratic society here, where (hard work pays off literally with lots of money) to level the playing field.

The alternative is a welfare state, which sucks because it drains the country's treasury so bad and encourages slackers. There is a intricate balance needed to give aid and to keep the incentives for a individual to work. Britain and the US has adopted this, now they are facing problems, I don't think I want to live there. Singapore has sound economic policies and a prudent attitude (savings instead of tax cuts) to save up money for a rainy day (aka recessions etc.).

Man, I'm beginning to sound like an advocate for the PAP... especially after reading the book "The Hard Truths" and studying too much of economics that keep praising Singapore's policies, but hey we have did well and made our country what it is... the balance of economic growth, strong defence force, racial and religious harmony, any of these things that we have mismanaged, the country would have gone downhill. But we made it! So proud of you Singapore! Although I'm more than an average patriot, I seriously dread going to the army =.= yeah irony.

National Day is coming woo~~~ here's a classic from Hossan Leong and great animation/drawing too. Study hard everyone!! >.<

Long Run Avg Schedule (LRAS) edited

2011-08-04T23:07:00.011+08:00

Hi everyone, long time no see. Been studying hard for prelims ^^ (ok who isn't hah) but of course there's a limit to how much I'm studying sigh. I can never study well at home, but I guess studying with my classmates was better than expected hehehe it's a sacrifice to pay for doing better and I guess I feel less lonely in school too.

So glad that I can relate to my classmates because I look out of my class and I have so little friends :(( and all my good friends in sec school all have their own friends already also (inevitable). Then there's also a lot of acquaintances that I know too, on one hand it's good they know I exist and I don't feel like an outlier in school on the other hand it's a pity that I can't really know them better. BUT this week I have been feeling pretty weird and hyper so I'm talking loads of crap with my class and doing things that attracting lots of attention, exam stress? Idk.

Decided to study till late late in school today and the school sure feels different at night, feels as if like it has become my home (people always coin the term 2nd home, but I'm not really sure actually), I'm more connected to my friends than the school because sometimes the school administration and the things they do just isn't agreeable to my thoughts. *COUGH*pushing lessons back just for NDP celebration*COUGH*

Despite my satisfactory results, there's a genuine worry deep in me that I won't do so well in prelims than CT2, because (1) my maths is borderline when everyone is doing well, (2) my econs was a miracle (because I'm good in Keynesian and I had practice in the small test) and (3) I seemed to have forgot all my theories and formulas for all the topics. Pretty afraid now, I know people always tell me that I will do well in my exams but the truth is sometimes people can take a deep plunge in their marks too (and I know that so well)...

Meanwhile, my countdown timer is ticking so fast - it was 6 weeks to prelims when I placed it prominently, now it's 3 weeks!!!! DAMN #%$*!#%&!

Wanted to chuck a theory inside my blog now - remember the Keynesian styled explanation of how we study more than an increase of what we plan to study? Or study less when we plan to study less. See this post :)

The birth of a new theory - the LONG RUN AVERAGE SCHEDULE (LRAS)!!!

It's pretty simple really, it's just that everyone has a limit that they can study, and the amount of time people can study over the long run is fixed, unless they train themselves physically and mentally to improve their LRAS.

The graph below explains why. The y-axis the General Procrastination Level (GPL), and the x-axis is the actual homework done (in hours).

The planned homework done (similar to AD) curve intersects with the SRAS (short run avg. schedule) to determine the equilibrium amount of homework done (x-axis) and procrastination level (y-axis). The planned homework curve is downward sloping, because as you procrastinate less, you do more homework.

On the other hand, the short run average schedule (SRAS) curve is upward sloping, because it measures your real productive capacity, and at low levels of homework done you can easily increase the homework done (via increase in planned homework) without a lot of procrastination. But as the homework done reaches your maximum output, many factors like fatigue, diminishing marginal returns and lack of interest sets in which makes the general procrastination level higher while giving rise to lesser homework done.

The long run average schedule (LRAS) on the other hand, refers to the maximum amount of homework you can do in a period of time (like 1 day, week or any time period set for analysis). It is a straight line downwards because it's independent of the amount of time you spend procrastinating.

With the basics, now let's analyse the graph.
(apologies the axis not labelled)

Assume that initially the planned studying curve is the one on the extreme left, and the SRAS curve is the lower one, hence equilibrium is achieved and homework done is Y0, while procrastination levels are low. With a increased plan to study near the prelims, the planned studying curve shifts rightward to the (middle or 2nd one) and a new equilibrium is acheived at Y1, where the hours studied increase by a multiple k of the increase in hours planned studying. Now, the homework done is Y1, at full capacity, where the LRAS cuts vertically downward.

On the night (or three nights) before prelims, the planned studying curve shifts to the right even more to the one on the extreme right, causing OVERTIME STUDYING - (e.g. burn midnight oil) to occur. The homework done increases to Y2 temporarily in anticipation of the coming examinations. However in the long run if this trend continues, the SRAS shifts up because the ability of the body to perform and study well drops due to fatigue, boredom, among other factors. The homework done will now move back to Y1 at full capacity where the body can sustain the revision done. This usually happens after an examination, and the result is that the general procrastination level increases due to the lack of urgency for the next examinations.

However, consistent revision will discipline the mind and body to shift the SRAS downward/rightward, and also potentially shift the LRAS rightward as well to reflect the increase in studying capabilities of the body.

Hope you all enjoyed it - a pretty much rushed post (took an hour though damn), but an opportunity for me to revise my econs :)

Anw today I went for blood donation with some of my friends! Achievement hahaha. First time doing it, I was pretty scared, my friends were too hahaha. But they were very strict sigh, if you weren't feeling well you couldn't donate blood, and some people had veins that were too small so they cannot donate blood :(( sian but the person in charge just said it so matter-of-factly, because I commented that "Wah so much people queueing up to donate blood..."

The big metal needle poking into the vein looked freaking scary, but somehow it pierced into the skin without any pain because of the anaesthetic (which was like how my idiot primary school friend poked me with a sharp pencil for 5 seconds), then they took a big bag of fresh red blood from me as I exerted and released force on a ball like in a simple harmonic motion to facilitate blood flow or something.

Since my life isn't so meaningful or useful, I guess it's good for me to donate blood and give people a chance to live? Heheh. Just that my neighbourhood got 30 dengue cases now LOL hope I didn't kena dengue fever when I donated :X :X

Sometimes having a public blog is scary, wonder who's reading this (without my approval LOL); that's all I guess. Bye.

Random economic thought / cold joke / hard truth (cancel whichever you want) - there's a reason why relationships with people are called bonds, that's because like the economic bonds you hold, they are risky investments that gives a lot of returns, or maybe no returns at all. It all depends on the bonds you are choose, some mature earlier some later, others just expire pretty soon. You invest your time, trust and friendship in it and hope that you will get a friend, but sadly it's not always the case lo.

Feel so emo/sian/angry/tired today. The NDP celebrations pushed back our lessons zzzz (but most of the celebrations were fine), except for the part where the army people came in and talked to us. I don't know why they promote army commandos here - I know army protects Singapore (and of course it's important) but a 15 minute intro video giving us a full history of the commandos at the opportunity cost of our lesson time is really not a thing that's allocative efficient - too long-winded (like me).

There was mass dance after that too, everyone was happy and dancing, and people wanted another song to dance to after Whiny Whiny. Pretty pissed at that at that time, totally draining our lesson time now end up the chem lecture MCQ can't finish, but actually it's also because I was damn sian/angry of the school for this bad planning so I didn't bother to dance (why force yourself to be high and happy) when you're not. Very irritable these days.

Anw, I sent an empty email to Mrs Chua for my PQ and didn't realize it! =.=

Emotional burden (edit)

2011-07-31T14:00:00.004+08:00

If there's something in life I want to remove, it would be the emotional attachement and sadness when you drift apart from your friends, and of course the horrible feeling of being lonely - then I no longer need this blog.

Now playing - World Behind My Wall, Tokio Hotel. ♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫ -
not gonna put the embed video up though because it's getting kind of boring in my blog I guess. World behind my wall... reminds me of how everyone is so different behind their Facebook and Twitter wall... woah wuuu woah ohhh~~

Yesterday went to study with Bryan in school (to return his GC too), and then with Murali and Zong Da at United Square McDonalds. These places are so much better than studying at home hahaha (like how I am writing and wasting time now). Pretty nice to study with friends too, more productive and can discuss questions to help each other. Just that they kept laughing at me because of my random comments hahaha. Glad that I can make people laugh, even though sometimes I'm like the joke :/

Oh well... I'm just weird isn't it, nothing much I can do to change myself, just have to use my personality to benefit myself the most o_0 and stop giving random strangers a bad impression - but then again people are always judged so easily by their first impression isn't it?

Prelims draw close man everyone is studying so I will try to do so too :(

I forgot to update my Archives --> 509 become 589 posts hahaha gosh I have been writing so much these days sigh... I don't really have any good ideas for my 600th post if you all have any suggestions please tag on my blog on something :)

*edit on Monday*

Now playing - Every teardrop is a waterfall, Coldplay. ♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫

Coldplay's songs are all so nice... :)

Moving on with the sadness in my life, here's a pretty retarded news animation for you all to enjoy, it's about the crazy US debt ceiling - y'know they are so screwed.

Check out the channel's other videos, their news is really hilarious with all the sarcasm and funny animation.

Ugly

2011-07-29T22:58:00.002+08:00

I rarely post the full lyrics of a song, but I think this song sounds awesome + has lyrics that connect to me somewhat. It's "Ugly" by the pretty awesome (pretty and awesome too LOL) Sugababes ♥

When I was 7
They said I was strange
I noticed that my eyes and hair weren't the same
I asked my parents if I was OK
They said you're more beautiful
And that's the way they show that they wish
That they had your smile
So my confidence was up for a while
I got real comfortable with my own style
I knew that they were only jealous cos

People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then
So are you
So are you

There was a time when I felt like I cared
That I was shorter than everyone there
People made me feel like life was unfair
And I did things that made me ashamed
Cos I didn't know my body would change
I grew taller than them in more ways
But there will always be the one who will say
Something bad to make them feel great

People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then
So are you
So are you

People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then
So are you
So are you

Everybody talks bad about somebody
And never realises how it affects somebody
And you bet it won't be forgotten
Envy is the only thing it could be

Cos people are all the same
(The same, the same)
And we only get judged by what we do
(What we do, yeah, yeah)
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then
(Yeah, you)
So are you
So are you

People are all the same
(Oh, oh, oh)
And we only get judged by what we do
(What we do, yeah)
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then
(Yeah, so are you)
So are you
So are you

500 words

2011-07-29T17:48:00.003+08:00

Initially, I just wanted to rant down here, but it sucks because there's no point doing it. So I will just write whatever I'm thinking of in 500 words, idk if thats even possible.

I really don't know why I can't find happiness in my life. Every day in school is mundane, studying is stressful and life has so much worries.

Today just made it worse, and it just made my self-esteem shoot down to underground :(, and it was something pretty random too. It's about my performance at shooting at our VJC rifle range, while I thought it was fun, but results do matter after all, at least in life. Whenever my shots don't land on the paper, I just feel so scared that I will miss everything sigh - because I totally have no confidence of myself.

Never have been good in shooting, and never will I guess. Whenever I hold a real gun (3 times in my life including today), my whole body just gets so nervous that my body shakes (omg) and I can't even hold it properly. It's probably a phobia of guns. It's things like this that make me feel so worthless :( how am I gonna survive army if everyone is good in shooting.

There really isn't much things I can look to to boost my self-esteem (not ego because it's not overinflated). The only thing I'm clinging on is my studies, I always prided myself for doing well in exams, because if I don't, I feel so worthless of myself. I'm really scared that I will flop for exams and fall to a level no one knew.

I'm so apprehensive of my future, I don't know if I will be successful or happy. I always wished my life was different, perhaps a little bit more good friends and be more sociable, a bit better in sports, be more mature, not so blur, I don't mind giving up some of my grades for that. But too bad life has no second chances, there are no books to teach you how to exactly live life, unfairness is always prevalent too. I think the main problem is that I have never been able to lift my head up, live my life freely and feel in control after I was bullied. It's a permanent scar.

389 words haha not too ranty today

ggwp

2011-07-28T23:02:00.002+08:00

Usually when people say ggwp, it's may sound arrogant if you are the winners, or sound despairful if you are the losers, but I really think the game just now was pretty awesome. SG 1 - M’sia 1.

Not really much of a soccer fan, but just decided to watch the soccer match with my dad anyway. Turns out that I was making more noise than him because I was so excited hahaha. The Lions played really well (perhaps from a bias perspective that I support them) - but there were some surprise bursts of energy from our players (i don't rmb names) that just broke through the M’sian defense, and pretty good passing/crosses between our players too (I was damn nervous that they would lose the ball anytime when they passed the ball but generally they didn't).

I think generally the Malaysia team was rougher; they tackled our players pretty hard so many people got injured :( + poor sportsmanship from some of the retarded audience that shone lasers at our goalkeeper wth. Their team had some pretty scary hulking players compared to us hahaha and slightly better possession than us so I thought Singapore would have a hard time.

There were some flops - i.e. everyone stoning and letting M’sia number 10 score a brilliant goal and occasionally bad defense but nonetheless it's really nice to watch. Now I hope that our Singaporean fans there can escape out of the 80,000 population stadium LOL.

Crap, now my transition metal + hypothesis testing + physics test revision undone. ggwp indeed.

My favorite song now - initially I thought the song was irritating but now I'm kinda fascinated and attracted by the attractive tune in the background. Must be my perfume, my perfume, my perfume~♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫

+ they're pretty :)

Prelims are coming

2011-07-27T20:05:00.003+08:00

In disequilibrium (edit)

2011-07-26T17:26:00.004+08:00

Haha, I really don't know what I'm doing... wasting my Tuesday away when I have tons of stuff to do... always feeling a sense of boredom and nothing to look forward to in life. Always wanted to study when I reach home, then ended up playing DotA (seeking fun and some company perhaps?) and then waste my whole afternoon away. I never succeeded in studying in the afternoon, no wonder my homework deficit runs so deep, and I have to burn my midnight oil as a result.

And then, there's just this feeling that you don't belong anywhere too - I don't know. Usually people put 40%, at most 60% of their social life into their class (and the rest in their CCA, other cliques), and I'm putting like 85% or something. Not much friends I can rely of outside already, it's understandable that everyone has their own group of friends then I just can't help but feel left out, like I want some group of friends that I can feel secure with or something, but too bad just couldn't find any. Not even much in my CCA, we're pretty much like having our own lives, and not close to the girls, even amongst the guys I don't know... hardly talk to them. Everyday I have this sense of insecurity.

I think I'm like already stepping out of my comfort zone and talking a hell lot than I did, it's just too little too late I guess. Plus I always do those flop things, things that attract lots of attention (maybe that's what I really want after all), then I always say all the wrong things and hurt the feelings of others, I'm such a weirdo. What's up with myself and my life.

I always have some radical extreme plans for myself - like since everything isn't going as I wish, I guess the only thing I can do (and I'm good in) is studying - study study study sigh... how I wish my life could improve a little bit - stop feeling lonely and sad for myself, stop procrastinating and get on with my life, start having more self-esteem and have more confidence in talking with people.

*edit* sorry for this kinda inappropriate post I don't know why I posted this up either, just feeling pretty sian nowadays.

Reality diverges with your wishes

2011-07-24T18:18:00.003+08:00

Left: Expectations, Right: Reality

(picture from my self-created blogskin hehe nice right, and I have been a member of Blogskin for 6.3 years, wow. Not to mention a 10 years account in Neopets, omg time flies. How I wish I could fly back to those times and redo my life.)

Alright I'm bitching here right now - as promised by my previous blog post =.= guess I understand myself pretty well...

Here's one example - I really don't know what's up with me... I'm a real good procrastinator when it comes to studying... sometimes I just get so turned off/repulsed by writing (i.e. doing boring tutorials like econs/GP essays), I tried to study in the afternoon and ended up not being able to concentrate at all. It wasn't that I didn't have the desire to study... The motivational speaker or Mrs Chua didn't teach me how to overcome problems of willpower/mind distractions did they?

I started writing one paragraph of an essay and I got absolutely turned off by it... but I finished it in the end after pushing myself to write, word by word. Damn now my other stuff isn't done at all, my PQ especially zzz.

Suffering from mild-medium depression, sigh. I really really wish I could cure it. Sometimes I do think of ending my life, damn.

Anyway, for the few of you who still read my blog hahaha, here's a link to read on mobile - http://siannedd.blogspot.com/?m=1 and its by Jing Xin, thanks :)

Rehab

2011-07-24T00:51:00.002+08:00

Timeless classic from Amy Winehouse, RIP. I will always rmb the first time I heard this song on radio...

She should have went for rehab though sigh...

Normal Saturday

2011-07-23T00:28:00.006+08:00

(If you all are lagging in my blog posts please read the ones below!! I don't think you will regret it :) )

Except for college day... can't believe they all pulling us back into school to stone at people getting awards for 3+ hours + random performances... haix then later they tell us to put the chairs back into the storeroom like the investiture last time LOL... no more comments la later my blog get caught :P

Don't really know what to say on my blog nowadays, my blog viewers is dwindling too hahhaa so there's not much need for me to post more sensational and random posts, maybe just some periodic rantings here and there. I seem to communicate 100x times more in my blog than in the real world... and sometimes I post my blog posts with the subconscious intent of letting someone read it, maybe sympathize with me hahaha, or maybe to let people know me better.

The results are all finally out - pretty happy at my results, and especially overwhelmed by my economics grade, but then again I totally have no confidence in that subject, it's a complex array of theories and concepts mashed up together and during examinations you have like 3 hours to dig the relevant ones out and contextualize them into real life situations (to answer the question relevantly), and evaluate their usefulness and limitations. I think that my long-windedness and analytical approach in solving problems have really helped me to do better for that topic :) , because that seems to be what the subject wants...

Maybe I'm liking this subject already (omg just because I did well)... people say that the assumptions are dangerous & theories flawed, but it really presents to us the innate desire for human thought and organization in the complex world we live in, and explanation various phenomas from various perspectives in modern economies so that we can prescribe the right policies to improve it and rectify problems. I don't think I will regret choosing Economics though I often hate memorizing all the concepts and theories... because it's so relevant in the world today.

Then again, maybe all this satisfaction and curiosity will be wiped out when I do my prelims =.= so I really need to work harder. If I did the BOP question my grades will be so damn different hahhaa...

I really don't know what's up with me being late and barely hitting distinction for maths anyway =.=, I hope I will just organize my schedule and quickly study + clear my homework debt. Pretty funny how I still play DotA to quell my loneliness and boredom while I leave my homework to rot in my bag or on the floor... suicidal stuff I'm doing there considering that everyone is chanting 30+ days to prelims...

I'm liking physics already, borrowed a book that just pulled me into the world of physics equations and their discoveries, maybe I do have innate interest in it after all- which drives me to study harder for it, but I'm not really sure if I'm that interested in Chemistry, especially organic chemistry because it's like one whole entangled mass of interrelationships between the compounds which is pretty irritating... to be frank I envy those people who can get A for such a insanely hard examinations hahah...

GP is actually a relevant topic imo, it's just that I don't like doing comprehensions that I do not have interest and background understanding in - i.e. political apathy, sigh I hope A levels gives a topic that I like hahaha - DotA or blogging or wtv hahaha... writing essays organize, consolidate and strengthen your thoughts, arguments and perspectives in life too, just that it is very tedious...

Ok enough about the random thoughts about these topics - I just find school pretty mundane and sian sometimes because the lessons are boring (no choice?), but I understand that the subjects itself can actually be meaningful and interesting in our lives. So it's nice to have friends in your class to liven up the class, talking rubbish and doing nonsensical stuff, although I admit I'm not exactly fitting in to the culture and discussions in my class, but I guess I'm pretty satisfied with my life (today) - tomorrow I will be bitching about my life so watch this space :)

Random food pictures etc.

2011-07-19T15:32:00.008+08:00

Things to do (just for reminding myself sigh)

Complex Numbers II
Protein structures
Hypothesis Testing
Econs essay qns plan

For people who read my blog on my iPhone *COUGH*ZONG DA*COUGH*, try typing my blog url and add /atom.xml, or http://siannedd.blogspot.com/atom.xml - you can read it easily now :) and it bypasses my video embeds but still shows pictures...

Sigh don't know what I doing these days, sometimes I'm pretty mean to the people around me... like can't be bothered liddat, and then I talk lots of rubbish (more than I usually do) with my class... and now my eyes look like this 0_= so everyone is asking me about it and looking at me hahaha, but still thanks for concern :)

Chilled out at Nex with myself, drinking some Teh C at 奇迹, pretty awesome... (for a loner especially)

Couldn't control myself and played DotA with friends hahaha to drown my sorrows - people say 借酒消愁 (drink to drown your sorrows), I say 借"多大"消愁 (play DotA to drown your sorrows)... now I really running deep in my homework debt... and I don't understand hypothesis testing sianzz...

Anyway, here's some random pics... the first one is my HDB flats filled with tons of pigeons/mynahs resting there... damn sian they dirty the environment and eat all the leftover food in the nearby food court because the cleaners don't clean fast enough...

Durians, I like...

Paos of all colours

Paos of all shapes, sizes and colours.

Dr. Goh's lesson - took picture for fun, so that in the future when I look back it would be so cool... I mean we will never be able to have this type of ~~slack~~ tutorials le lo... sigh... will miss everything about this school and the people...

Put your hands in the air!!!

REMEMBER TO VOTE FOR FOTY!!! ENDS THIS FRIDAY~

I know... I need a life LOL

Cya...

Ready To Go

2011-07-18T20:10:00.003+08:00

Since there are lesser readers nowadays, I can post some less entertaining/more emo stuff hahaha

This song caught my ears... pretty nice rock-pop song? The bridge - the part of the song between the chorus and the final chorus (am I right?) has some pretty nice melody too.

The video has some subliminal imagery too... well which video doesn't have nowadays, at 2:41 the clock tower conveniently blocks out one eye of the tower wth (and the eye is moving which makes it really scary - you all should just Google "Eye of Horus" to know what I mean)... plus a triangle at 1:54... It is just so irritating and stupid for them to put all these symbolism. If you are curious to know more, just click this link here and browse the informative website... or else just ignore my rants (but I promise you knowing more about the truth of the world is better than knowing less).

Ok, now that it's like 5 weeks+ to prelims and 1 year 7 months with my dear class... I really wonder what I have been doing my whole JC life... my class is admittedly very nice to me - much much more than I have expected, they weren't like those bitches back in primary school that rejected me.

No offense or arrogance here - but I feel so happy when I own those mean people in my pri school class in terms of studies, so that I don't have to go to the same school and see their faces everywhere... there's only one person in my school that was in my pri school class, he's quite ok but I guess I didn't bother to talk to anyone so now it's awkward to see him sometimes :P and of course I have like lost so much of my relationships with people in secondary school sigh...

So I have so much hi-bye friends :(( oh and the best part is I don't even dare to say hi to them =.= it seems that I have given up on my social life already, it will be damn awkward if I wave to them and they don't wave back - so I don't take that risk. Maybe I will just smile because it is less obvious, and if the person wanted to look at me in the first place, then he/she will respond to me hahaha.

Now it seems, my class is the only source of "social support" I have, I talk to them the most, I hardly see my other friends from other classes, they all have their own friends anyway - pretty sad yeah. BUT at least I got to know my class better - they are all pretty nice, at least they bother to talk to me even when they have their own group of friends :) so nothing much to ask for liao... and they don't mind my weirdness/quirkiness/oddness/bizarreness/eccentric behavior etc.

And anyway, if I were to terminate/vanquish/obliterate/destroy/end my life because of this depression in me - I will always think of my mum and dad, I have a pretty awesome family I must say... no quarrels between dad and mum, no bitchness + lots of understanding from my parents so I guess this keeps me going to some extent. If I were to go before them, they will be pretty sad + I want to earn lots of money and repay them!!! Maybe we don't have to live in HDB flat next time (wait if housing prices get too high then idk)... see how first. Of course, there are friends who care about me (I hope so)...

And so - that brings me back to my studies - study hard ==> good results ==> good university ==> good job ==> high income ==> higher standard of living and quality of life + repay parents. Hmm ok, I'm at phase one now =.=

It's been a long time seen I talked about school - so here's one post about it.

School today was fine, somehow looking at my classmates and talking to them makes me happier somewhat - like fulfilling the social bar in the Sims... better mood to do homework, if it drops below 2 green bars/5 green bars I really no mood to do homework... unexpected GP and Econs results, happy for myself but I keep warning myself not to get complacent - which Mr. Ho always says. Who knows if I would plunge down all the way next time... really really scared and want to study hard - if I want to accomplish my goal above.

The econs lecturer (Mr. Jack Cook) was so epic - I mean he knows his stuff, he gives examples (you need to copy to rmb though), and he makes really weird jokes but nonetheless funny. i.e. the government encouraging R&D by cheerleading outside the factories - give me a B, I, O, P, O, L, I, S! What's that?? BIOPOLIS!!! Totally LOL at that (plus it's not easy to make a funny yet high level aka. intellectual joke) - now I will never ever forget how to write the names of the policies given and how it works in details instead of giving vague descriptions like "encouraging and boosting R&D development". I have read a book before about memories and it says that memories are largely formed and strengthened from your impression of events (how impactful is it) that happened- so true...

Physics lesson was pure lepak - Dr Goh is really funny but perverted... seriously - the conduction band (CB) is above the forbidden region because the electrons ~~something~~ have to penetrate the forbidden region to enter the CB! LOL! If you didn't get that you are really pure...

Econs tutorial was boring - but somehow the econs discussions in the lessons can deviate and be pretty funny sometimes - and I look forward to these moments where I will be less bored, like how random jokes are made - pretty much internal ones la...

Ok, I guess I'm ready to go study now~ I really have a homework debt... need to clear it and stop borrowing my sleeping time... or else there will be serious consequences for me.

The Warning!

2011-07-18T00:47:00.002+08:00

My timer has warned me... study hard everyone T_T, because if you read my blog I prolly care for you :) although I should worry about myself too sigh... (ok really bad sentence structure I know)

Hard times ahead indeed... sometimes diving deep into studying isn't that bad for me after all, now I'm not so lagging in my tutorials (happy) and homework doesn't really care about your flaws, your personality and everything. Perhaps I should just be best friends with homework LOL...

So my school had it's ~~tetra-annual~~ quadrennial (once per 4 years) event called Victoria Challenge, where the students from each class plan a big idea they want to do for the school, can be repainting the school, or just plain random stuff - pretty cool. Time really flies, still remember how my class 2I was making cakes LOL cos no one had a good idea, or at least one that was presentable to Mr You and Miss Hashima hahaha... pretty fun though, but I forgot how to make a cake le =.= and of course all those crazy times with all my friends... yeah... miss all of that but didn't much cherish it at that time anyway zzz....

Sigh... I wish I could go back to see the school again, but then again, don't really have much good friends to follow me back so it's damn awkward when you see everyone there with their friends... plus running wasn't my thing since most of them did a pretty nice event of running 8km (in teams) to cover 135km - if I'm not wrong... aiya still love the school anyway haha.

Goodnight~

Fail

2011-07-17T00:11:00.005+08:00

In a Garena room waiting for a game (alone T_T), and the countdown for prelims and A levels are still sticking - yes I downloaded a computer countdown timer, if you can see it - its 42 days and 106 days approximately... total fail in controlling myself - what's up with me.

Haix my life is one that have gone awry wrong... and I don't wanna be a good-for-nothing... really need to push hard for my studies even if I don't want to do it... since I think studying is all I know how to do... zzz

Mind Blown

2011-07-16T00:03:00.002+08:00

Just For Laughs YouTube channel - really very funny some of the tricks.

Who's that girl

2011-07-15T00:10:00.002+08:00

Damn and I thought today was a good day to sort out my lagging tutorials... how wrong I was. I didn't even finish my HBL =.= the computer is BIGGEST distraction ever T_T

Making GIF pictures is really a good way to waste time... but it looks cool because many people are doing it in Flickr hahaha... so here's a song that's on my mind now.

:/

After Byakuran, it's A levels

2011-07-13T20:49:00.001+08:00

Panic

2011-07-13T00:43:00.006+08:00

Source: http://www.bytelove.com/

Don't you sometimes have this fleeting sense of panic, when you realize that something of yours is missing - and you get damn scared because of the consequences for losing them? Well I always have had this feeling - today also, because I thought I lost my A3 drawing pad (just for econs mindmap) and my library book which I placed inside the plastic bag. Imagine paying for the book =.=

Luckily my econs tutor was nice enough to extend the dateline (and also thanks to the person who asked for it) - we have to do so many tutorials everyday and in 3 days we had to finish 2 comprehensions - 1 for tomorrow, I don't mind for practice because I won't be motivated to do anw but I guess it just leaves me with so little time for other stuff, I guess I still need to manage my time better.

Another day, time really flies - no time to make friends also LOL sometimes I wonder why I worry so much, as long as I don't piss my class real bad or make enemies there I think it's really quite a feat for me already, and I guess I'm doing quite ok :)

I guess more people are knowing my existence in school (like they must be thinking - hey I didn't know this weird guy existed in our school?) from all the flop things that I do, or even just doing random stuff like playing DotA with others - just that it's kind of awkward when you see them and they recognize you hahah (which is what happened) but I guess life is full of awkwardness isn't it? And then if these people have a bad first impression of me (which I heavily suspect) that isn't helping too hahaha.

Just pretty sian at how people tend to dao me sometimes for things I say that I feel warrant a response - aiya what the heck, maybe I should stop my desperate attempts from connecting with people.

Every Friday - or some random days when he has leave, my brother comes back. Now it seems that I'm seeing him so often!!! Time really flies, one friday, two fridays, three fridays... soon it will be many fridays. Totally links to the song - last Friday Night!!! Gotta get down on Friday~~ get down to studying :(

Life is so short - J2 is even shorter, really in a panic now for my A levels, my life in the army, my university life and everything. Ok actually only the first one - I don't even have time to think ahead.

And I guess if social media is not for me - I have found a new world, a world of books!!! Somehow books are pretty entertaining, enriching and interesting if you really want to set some time for it, rather than emoing at the computer like I'm doing now... and the National Library Board is allowing the borrowing of more than 10 books!!! So can borrow like no tomorrow...

1am!!! Bai bai. Sometimes I'm so curious who reads my blog, other than my classmates and my old friends, seems like there are more views than there should be o_0 stalkers LOL

Btw all the posts from Mon are posted after 12am so actually I written it one day earlier o_o

Young Forever

2011-07-12T00:27:00.003+08:00

Hey hey! We'll be young forever, we'll be young forever till forever stops. (my fav line)

Usually I try to restrain myself from putting too much MVs on this blog, but this song is quite nice imo hahaha... the starting sounds a bit like those Korean pop song tunes, but they quickly shift the tunes :P and I will listen to this guy even if he has no pretty face LOL... jk HAHA

Ok my mind is not in the right quantum state now, I just wanted to put videos to prevent myself from diving myself into some deep emotional world in cyberspace. I promise I will try to write something more entertaining real soon... thanks everyone for reading/kaypoing/stalking.... 12:34am bye~

Little Bad Girl

2011-07-11T19:52:00.001+08:00

Walao, just now type a blog post, now it gets deleted - super pissed at Blogger sometimes, not that my life isn't bad enough....

At least the lucky part is that I scrapped through my mathematics examination, sigh but that means I really have to work harder already. And I guess school wasn't as scary as I thought - everyone seemed friendly to me...

Pink Skies

2011-07-11T00:44:00.006+08:00

Source: http://thundafunda.com/2/2.3/man-enjoying-freedom-pink-sky-pictures.php

The picture above really has a GMH feeling for me.

Everyone's talking about a pink sky today - mine was orange-purple though (so only can use online pics) :( but nevertheless my whole room was bathed in golden light... very nice.

Pink reminds me of love, a heart symbol coated in pink - full of significance, it's the affectionate feeling between two individuals. It need not be boy-girl relationships, it can be really good friends or family bonds too.

It's a new week in school... totally dreading it. For people, they still have lots of social and emotional support, I have almost none - what the hell... when I thought of everything in perspective during the weekend, I realize the only "skill" I have now is that I'm better in studying - but nothing else. I'm just looming in the 2nd-4th shell of people's friendship. Pretty sad so I cried for quite a while in the middle of the night, but whatever.

The conclusion I get is you should never compare your life with people's. It sure sucks when you do - I'm so far apart from everyone. If I spend a full four months from now studying for A levels alone at home perhaps I would be happier - I don't know. It sure sucks sucks sucks when you know that this hypothesis is more likely true than false, that is if a hypothesis testing can be done on me.

The last thing you need is your parents and brother suanning you that you have no friends over the years - you all really want to push me to the limits do you? If I had no faith (in you and myself) I would probably have done the inconceivable.

Loners in finite existence (life)

2011-07-09T22:07:00.002+08:00

Ok haha maybe the title only applies to me. When I'm alone, like I always do... I will turn on the computer (a very anti-social object) because I don't really interact in social media. Instead, I will go and "stalk" other people's post on Twitter and Facebook, but I know it's not really stalk when they're on the main wall.

So it's a Saturday - and while popular people are hanging out with their friends (a valid assumption I guess), I'm just chilling at home like I always do... then to try and comfort myself, I will go to my YouTube account to see if my videos got more views (LOL) or if my blog views increased a lot. Or even check if my uploaded maps are popular on Epicwar. Somehow I have become so engrossed in myself, my own "achievements" in the virtual world to make myself feel better, because the real world seems so unfair and sianx to me.

Sometimes I play DotA too, play with myself, play with friends, and I guess while this is less anti-social, but I guess it is STILL quite a thing for loners to do. So I don't know, maybe I should quit... but computer games are such a good way to run away from reality, that's why some of my good friends are on Runescape all the time LOL - idk if that's a logical conclusion.

Oh yeah, that's the reason why I keep blogging.

Sigh... the computer is such a mean object - this world doesn't exist and I can totally understand why loners or gaming addicts want to stay in this world forever. Like who wants to study everyday, and go to school, or face the world.

When I'm lonely, I tend to do less work than if I feel happy interacting with people. Which sucks, because I gotta find a way to make myself feel less lonely. Social media doesn't help, I'm just watching other people interact with each other which makes it worse. Arrgh what to do?

Planned/actual homework and flops (edited)

2011-07-07T23:03:00.007+08:00

11:03pm. First time I almost finished all my work and can slack in front of the computer and write nonsensical stuff, like I always do. This blog has turned so intellectual, because I don't want to run an emo blog ranting about my life (like who gives a f*** for me right), and I don't want to run Twitter like blogs too (short vague posts that leaves readers guessing), so here I am writing all my theories to explain my life... because theories are meant to explain our life :)

Theories - they are all filled with assumptions, filled with logic and explanation that leads us from point A to point B, our destination. It can be said to be a map to look for directions rather than a single way to reach from one specific point to another. Some people refute theories, saying that they are too simplistic models for the real world. But I think the point is to make things simple so that you can explain clearly and build up all your explanations of life into more complex theories (which are more realistic of life). I guess this is what all the subjects that we are learning have in common - maybe except GP...

If you haven't noticed - I have essentially wrapped up my inter-linked theories of happiness and friendships by using similar concepts of Physics, Chemistry and Economics - I really hope you all like reading them (see the HOT READS on the right) - although some parts may just seem absurd but when I write these theories I really take time to think and reflect upon my life and try to explain phenomena that exist in my existence :)

Without further ado, today I'm gonna bring in a simple new theory of mine. The theory of planned homework and actual homework done - from my dear friend Keynes. Planned homework is a very general term for all the homework, revision, and studies you want to do - your personal aim to complete a certain amount of homework over a period of time, but actual homework is the actual amount of work that you do!

At equilibrium, humans tend to ACTUALLY COMPLETE the quantity of homework that fits the planned amount of homework that they WANT to do.

Please refer to the graph below.

y-axis is planned homework (in hours), x-axis is quantity of homework (in hours) as well that is actually done, just for illustration.

Where the planned amount of homework intersects the actual homework done, the quantity of homework done in hours is shown at the x-value of the intersection which is the equilibrium.

Why does planned homework tend to actual homework done? This is because if the actual amount of homework done exceeds the planned amount of homework you intended to do, like if you did 10 hours of work instead of your planned 6 hours, your productivity will decrease due to diminishing marginal returns, and the opportunity cost of you doing other activities will increase. Hence with less free time, they will tend to reduce the amount of homework done until it coincides with the planned amount.

Conversely, if the planned amount of homework is short of the actual amount of homework done, like if you only did 2 hours of work when you planned to do 6 hours, you will face more deadlines/consequences of not completing all the homework and disappointment of not meeting your expectations, among other factors, and you will increase the amount of homework done until it coincides with the amount of homework that you planned to do. Hence, students usually tend to end up doing the real amount of work that they planned to do - which is the equilibrium mechanism.

FYI: The planned amount of homework is upward sloping because people tend to plan to do more work as they actually complete their work since they are gradually overcoming the activation energy to start on their homework- which is illustrated mathematically as the variable induced work done b(t) of the green graph, but with a lesser extent.

The autonomous work done, the "constant a" part of the green graph, is more of other factors like the looming examinations or the amount of homework given by our teachers which may fluctuate with time. These rapid fluctuations usually are faster than the equilibrium mechanism explained above, so the actual and planned homework done are usually different.

The red graph 45 degrees inclined to the x-axis is the actual homework done, it has a gradient 1 and hence makes sure that the intersection between the two graphs make the planned and actual homework done coincide.

When the "a" part or autonomous part of the planned homework changes, like teachers giving more homework, you feel pressure to complete them - and hence you increase your planned homework. This corresponds to the shift in the green graph upward, the first cyan arrow. The immediate amount of homework expected to complete will be done quickly (the second cyan arrow) indicating a REAL increase of homework done.

As you complete your work, you feel more satisfied of yourself and have overcome the activation energy to do work, hence you plan to do more work, leading to the 3rd cyan arrow of an increase in planned work done. Subsequently, you complete your work and plan for more work done. This continues until your planned work done equal to the actual work done.

*edit* Similarly, if you haven't done work for a long time, where your planned homework decreases, due to factors like lesser homework or procrastination, your activation energy to start on a new set of homework will increase. Hence, you actually do less real work, which induces your planned work to further decreases by a lesser degree. This makes you plan to do even lesser work (the decreasing amounts of planned work and real work done per round makes the drop in real work done finite, but more than the initial fall in planned work).

The chains of increases in homework done is the multiplier effect - where an increase in homework expected to be completed increases the planned homework which increase the actual homework done by a factor of k. k is the multiplier, and is equal to the MPH, the marginal propensity to do homework.

MPH is the gradient of the green graph, which is = (change in planned homework done)/(change in actual homework done) and lies from zero to one.

Understanding this, our teachers hence like to pile us with lots of homework and tutorials and small tests and big examinations to push our green graph up as high as possible so that we plan to do A LOT of homework and hence actually complete a lot of homework hahaha.

Ok I'm done talking rubbish :P

Bleh, now for the rants.

Sigh... nowadays I keep flopping, I don't know why. I'm a flop and I'm weird la. Hmm... especially today hahaha, it was my first time playing seriously in a Captain Ball game, and my face was damn serious (according to my friend), and yeah I flopped when I hit the opponent ball away when it was my team's ball o_o it's pretty funny when I think of it. Wonder how people will think of me now :/ it was a good game though.

Well, I really don't know what I'm doing in my life. Damn I really give a bad impression to lots of people in VJ... but I guess what's done is done, I will just treasure the remaining friends I have :(

Hahaha ever since my class gave me the image of a flop, it might have affected my behaviour (made me more flop?), or like everytime I flop it became more obvious. Well, it wasn't like that when I was in secondary school, regardless I guess the image has been formed so I'll just ride along with it hahaha.

For the second part that I'm weird, I have always been weird this life - kinda weird LOL. I think for this part, it's more of a perception of myself than what people think of me; if only I could have higher self-esteem and think of my weirdness as the new "cool" hehehe. It's just the actions I do in life that seems unconventional, like when I buy a cup a hot tea in school, I had caught people staring at me before and yeah I'm a "uncle" in my class now ^^ but I guess "that's how I roll" (quote from Hitman Reborn).

Oh, I'm a DJ too... and somehow all these nicknames were created by only one friend! Wth!

Due to the sad circumstances in the earlier parts of my life, my happiness and self-esteem levels have lowered, and hence now my behaviour is so different than what I would have been if my primary school was great. I would have been a more successful fella who is more sociable, that more people like to talk to and maybe more achievements, idk. But then again, my choices and my fate (see post on formula of happiness) have determined where I am and I am no more happier than my status quo- I mean this is how my life has went I can't change it so I will enjoy as much as I can.

Ok - goodbye...

12:16am damn

*edit*

Epic picture and write-up of my class, if you curious click the link below :) I think the writeup and picture really owns that of other classes but of course maybe I'm biased or something.
FOTY picture of my class

Now our class is gonna have one less person... because she is going to Hong Kong to study in an university! How lucky is that!!! Today is the day that she is leaving, and although I'm not so close to her, and not going to send her off like some of my classmates are going to. It sure feels different without someone with a unique personality in our class, everyone contributes to the culture of the class... Sally Yim, even though you probably won't read this, I sincerely wish you all the best (once again) in her future studies and endeavors :)

NDP song

2011-07-06T18:16:00.004+08:00

How time flies... last year I put up the 2010 NDP song as well... this year one... ok la not superb but considerably good.

Ease of singing - 3.5/5, song is slow paced and chorus is very obvious... at least you can sing the "In a heartbeat" part LOL, but other parts may be hard to sing - I can just imagine the people stoning there at the Floating Platform watching Sylvia Ratonel (Singapore Idol finalist) singing hahaha.

Tune - 3.5/5, pretty nice NDP-style tune with a emotional, nostalgic and optimistic feeling, and also an attempt to a build up to the climax of the song (but its near the end). But I think the singing tone doesn't seem to follow the tune and the song feels too conservative... a bit like a hybrid of a pop song and a serial drama song...

Music video - 4.5/5, very relevant video with good footages and an amazing attempt to capture the journey of Singapore through a single Singaporean from his kampung days to him becoming an adulthood and having a family. Oh and of course, promoting racial harmony through showing a inter-racial marriage LOL... made me a bit moved. And does anyone know is that Sharon Au in the video?!?!

Overall - 3.83/5, moving and nostalgic song, perfect for all ages, plus it really makes us reflect on our lives as Singaporeans - like how far we have come and everything. But somehow I don't really understand the lyrics of the song, it's not a song that leaves a strong impression on me like how the old songs Home and Where I Belong did - my two favourites.

Ok do homework liao sigh... nice games today (if you are reading this Hong Hui hahaha)...

If you want a horrible song, try typing fun pack NDP on YouTube :)

4 DotA games (edit x2)

2011-07-03T02:31:00.005+08:00

Woah 4 DotA games straight... with old friends, new friends, people I know but don't really know too, fun but tiring, and bad for the body. 2:31am now omg... and I was looping the same song the whole time... goodbye goodnight (see below below post), it played like for 100 times... I mean idk but that song is just so eargasmic LOL... damn nice.

Now it's time my body screwed me... tml I will wake up damn tired haix...

***edit***

It's Monday!!! Damn... so I will have to end my DotA spree already, since life in JC just sucks (sucky circumstances, pessimistic perspectives and bad choices in life = low happiness for me - see my previous post). It's been fun playing with my friends and other random people though...

Now it's back to life... and probably receiving results I will regret, because I know how much effort I have put in...

3 random facts I thought of on the spot

The number of socially awkward situations I have follow a Poisson distribution of approximately 3.
Order of confidence for my CT2 - Physics, Chemistry, Maths, Econs, GP. PCME ma~
Detergent or soap companies produce advertisements on TV that never dare to show that all the bacteria are destroyed by their products, there's always at least 1 bacteria/germs left so they have no confidence that their products can kill all germs?? How can you be 100% sure when only 99.9% of germs are eliminated!?!?! There's 0.01% of millions of bacteria left - there will be at least a few hundred bacterias left that can reproduce very quickly...

Oh~~ I've been driving on this road for so long...
Just tryin' to find my way back home
But the old me's dead and gone
Dead and gone

Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/stuckincustoms/2049233526/

Deriving the equation of happiness (edited)

2011-07-02T15:29:00.008+08:00

Please read my previous post about fate and choice below this post and another post here about the physics of uncertainty and the economics of happiness to better understand this post.

In the real-world, the concept of a converging space-time dimension (4 dimensions) can be expressed in the equation below.

s² = x² + y² + z² - (ct)²

It's like how you identify a coordinate of an object using the really basic equation (3 dimensions of space - x ,y and z), like for example when we try to find the magnitude of vectors - i.e. the distance between 1 coordinate and another.
s² = x² + y² + z²

But now, we combine time into space as the 4th dimension... so essentially we (all matter) are all moving along the time-axis t.

To be frank, the things written above are too abstract for me to understand right now, it's just a basis for me to publish my rubbish equations below!!!

If an object in coordinate in time-space can be thought of as an analogy to a destination of life, and assuming that we try to derive happiness and satisfaction in our lives, we move along the dimensions of life to reach different stages of happiness in our life.

The 3 so-called "dimensions" of happiness - I would define, would be the circumstances of your life, the perspective you hold in your life, and finally the choices you make in your life. The 4th dimension related to time - which somehow we cannot control, is the uncertainty of our lives multiplied by our lifespan.

Hence, the equation below -

(Happiness)² = (Circumstances)² + (Perspective)² + (Choices)² - (Uncertainty * Time)²
Using just variables, H² = Ć² + P² + č² - (Δx * t)²

We can compare the net happiness gain by setting the happiness we had right when we were created (in our wombs) as zero, and also when time was zero, where our circumstances, perspectives and choices were not fully determined yet.

Between two points in time, we can compare the net gain in happiness by the net changes in circumstances, perspectives, choices and uncertainty in our lives.

Δ(H²) = Δ(Ć²) + Δ(P²) + Δ(č²) - Δ((Δx * t)²)

Ok, so as we can see, everyone would progress to different coordinates in the dimensions of happiness (destinations in life) because of different circumstances, perspectives, choices and uncertainty of life.

Better circumstances in life - higher Ć will lead to higher amounts of happiness. This is something we cannot control, it's the environment that we are born in, it's the people around us, our local society and culture, our standard of living and the quality of life. For me, maybe it could be the people around me who could potentially be my good friends that give me better circumstances in life. In short, you could regard this as our "fates", although not totally, as I will explain how these circumstances interact with the perspectives and choices of our lives.

I would say, due to the good life we have in Singapore we have a good value of Ć, although life here is very stressful (arrgh duh) and city life may not be desirable for most of us, so maybe Ć is not as high as other more supposedly relaxed European countries who are also as, if not more developed than us.

Next up is the perspective in our life (P). This is something that we have some control over - very simply, it's how we view life (the outlook of our lives?), how optimistic or pessimistic we are, how we react to success or failures in our lives, and how satisfied are we with our lives (normative issue). I definitely have a lower P in others because I'm more of a pessimist, and I have more bad days than good days, I don't feel happy most of the time although there may be bursts of happiness in some days. Although our circumstances may be good, we may not view it as a better life and hence P may not necessarily rise with increasing Ć.

Choices in our life, č, also determine how we progress in our life - i.e. where do we land on in the happiness of our life. Simply said, we make a lot of choices in our lives that leads us to different destinations in our lives and also how happy we are - the schools that we choose to go, the job courses and jobs that we decide, the girlfriend / boyfriend that you marry and so on. This also interacts with the perspectives of our lives and the circumstances in our lives in a complex manner, and all of these 3 dimensions form a "space-model" where we can identify our happiness independent to changes in time.

In my previous blog post here, I have explained the concept of the uncertainty of life Δx and how it approximates to Δp/c, where c is the life constant that varies in everybody's life and Δp is the momentum of our lives. Bascially, the uncertainty of life measures how your life varies (is it predictable) - like if you are in a very routine life Δx will be very low but if your job or life always involves something new you would have a unpredictable life - high Δx.

The uncertainty of life Δx multiplied by time that we have lived (t) determines our happiness too. The more uncertain our life is, in general, the more unhappy we will be because (I'm assuming) that stability of our lives is something that we desire to obtain. For example, people living in dangerous areas where terrorist attacks are prevalent - Δx is high and I doubt they would be happy.

Now that I have explained the basis of my equation, we could further develop the equation into something more calculable by analyzing each of these variables/constants.

Δ(H²) = Δ(Ć²) + Δ(P²) + Δ(č²) - Δ((Δx * t)²)

Warning! Heavy maths calculations below!

From the same post about the uncertainty of physics previously, I have predicted that the momentum of our lives is the 2nd derivative of happiness with respect to time, i.e. d²H/dt², hence H would be equal to the double integral of the momentum of life ∫ p dt². The momentum of life in turn, is the measure of how fast time seems to travel, the velocity of time ŧ multiplied by the true value of the thing you are doing in the period of time, i.e. mass of life Ŋ.

Hence H = ∫ (Ŋŧ) dt², and assuming that the mass of life and the velocity of time are cyclical between two periods of our lives (p = Ŋŧ = c cos²t), where c is the constant of life, H = 0.25 c (2t² - cos(2t) - 1) which really is just H = 0.5ct² - this is seeing life in a predestined/fated way because only the mass of life & velocity of time determines your happiness...

Alternately, if you believe that your choices, perspectives make you in control of your life - you can see the derivations of the various variables below.

The uncertainty of life, Δx ≈ Δp/c, where c is the constant of life. Hence, (Δx * t)² = (Δp/c)² = (Δp)²/(c²), assuming that Δx and Δp remain constant. Otherwise, the 4th dimension of happiness would be more accurately depicted as (∫Δx dt)² = (∫ (Δp/c) dt)² = (Δp*t/c)² assuming that Δp is independent of time, hence (Δp*t/c)² = (Δp)²t²/c²

The circumstances in our life squared, Ć², is likely a very complex polynomial series with respect to time, ... + at^5 + bt^4 + ct³ + dt² + et + f because it is always changing as our lives changes, but for a simplistic model, we can assume that our circumstances in our life is almost increasing linearly with time... i.e. Ć = ct, if the society and the economy country matures in time and improves, where c is the constant of life again. Hence Ć² = c²t²

So a higher the constant of life, the higher our happiness, the better our circumstances and the lower our uncertainty of life (since Δx ≈ Δp/c).

The perspectives of our life P and the choices we make in our lives č have a complex relationship with our lifespan - I don't know if we will view life with a broader and better perspective or that we make better choices as we are older so let's assume both remain almost constant in our lives - pessimists/optimists almost stay that way in their lives and people generally are born with different abilities to make good/bad choices regardless of their age.

From
Δ(H²) = Δ(Ć²) + Δ(P²) + Δ(č²) - Δ((Δx * t)²), we obtain

Absolute happiness at a point of time is
H = 0.5 ct² (destiny) = c²t² + P² + č² - (Δp)²t²/c² (choice)

Net happiness between over a period of time t,
ΔH = Δ(0.5 ct²) = Δ(c²t²) + Δ(P²) + Δ(č²) - Δ((Δp)²t²/c²)

This highly complex equation represent the intricate relationships between the constant of life and uncertainty of momentum of life in your happiness of your life, and also the value of your perspectives and choices.

Ok so now you asking me - wtf is with the equations, what is the significance.

Significance of the two equations of happiness - destiny/fate vs choice/perspectives

Now as you can see, everyone was born with a constant of life (some people more, some people less) - this constant determines the happiness we have, the circumstances we have and the uncertainty of our momentum of life. Our lives and the happiness we have is sort of like fated, predetermined for us - something we can't control, for all of you fate and destiny believers. Your happiness in life will just increase as your life goes by - very simply, even if it is slower than others.

BUT if you believe that you can change your fate or destiny (as I do), you can see your happiness changing with the choices and perspectives you make in your life, and also changing because of the uncertainty of the momentum of life and your lifespan. But as you can see, the constant of life c still holds some parts of your happiness, therefore you can never have full control of your happiness (uncertainty of happiness?). The momentum of life will keep varying your happiness you have - take for example if it equals to a cyclical pattern of zcos²t, where z is a small constant....

With the equation of happiness loaded with tons of assumptions (because happiness is so hard to define!), we have this final model from the the two equations of destiny (H=0.5ct²) and choice/perspectives (H= c²t² + P + č - (zcos(t))^4*t²/c²)

The graph of happiness against time - Red graph represents pro-choice & perspective and green represents pro-destiny and fate. There is a general upward trend of happiness in life but in reality (choice & perspective) happiness is very very cyclical (red graph), which is also explained in my economics of happiness post - same post as the physics of uncertainty :D... both perspectives of fate and choice are correct in a sense.

Of course, I'm assuming we will all be generally happier as we grow older, hence the upward sloping curve - because I assumed the momentum of life never gets negative (for the fate-graph), and for the choice-graph, I assumed that your circumstances of life will always get better as you grow older and that the happiness fluctuations are more cyclical than random (I used cos²(x) for the uncertainty of p).

OK END OF (SEEMINGLY RUBBISH BLOG POST), BUT HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED IT...

Happy Birthday!

2011-07-02T01:20:00.000+08:00

You know, I have always wanted to do some simple and meaningful picture like this...

Hahaha flop drawing I know but yeah it's the thought that counts hahaha, and it's not easy ok :P my hand always shake when I draw with the mouse.

Happy (belated) birthday Yu Xuan and the ultra mighty handsome Reuben!! I know you all definitely had :)

~~And also to all the June, July babies erm... plus August, September, October, November and December and the months before July too HAHA~~

Pretty nice day at Yu Xuan's house ~~today~~ yesterday, even though it's just like doing things that you would normally do at people's house, watch movies, play Xbox and play cards hahaha, and of course there are the epic presents, but I think the most important things are really those that you can't see lo, like friendships, love and all those little enjoyments in life.

A birthday, another year older, soon it will be my turn :/ not really looking forward to growing up somehow but yet a bit eager to experience my future life.

Time really flies... we are more than halfway past the year 2011 already sigh... we have celebrated many people's birthdays... and you know what that means. More studying :/ I mean, I thought it wasn't very long ago where we celebrated the 2011 new year hahahaha, or the two terms just seemed like yesterday for that matter of fact. Wonder how 2012 would be like... I mean if the world ends can it like end earlier so that I don't need to complete my National Service LOL

When we all grow up, I can sort of predict like who's gonna be successful already, all those future doctors, lawyers, engineers, businessman, even commandos hahaha (erm what else is there) and people venturing into all types of cool careers that I would never had thought of. I have this warped joke that keeping these friends so that when you need to lend money they got a lot to lend you LOL and you don't need to pay back but of course thinking this way is so crooked and mercenary, I like my friends regardless of who they are :)

I really don't know how I would be like... sometimes I wished I had the chance to see what my life is like 10 years later... like y'know the Bazooka machine in Hitman Reborn! LOL where you get to see your future for 5 minutes... but if everything is a flop then it's really kind of sad lo. But somehow I feel like we are all trapped in the dimensions of time and space so it seems impossible for us to break out of this continuous flow of life that we are in, it will just carry us to our destination which has been waiting for us, maybe that is like believing in fate or something, idk.

It's just whether you believe that whether you are truly free to make choices in your life, or actually you are destined to make these choices, which makes your fate sealed LOL. Sounds so contradictory to me, but maybe it just works both ways. Like Einstein's concept of relativity. If you are riding on an object a wave of light would seem to travel less distance than if you are just stationary, when actually the light's speed is constant and it must travel the same distance.

Ummm... how about this phrase: Your fate is your choice; your choice is your fate. Fate affects choice, choice affects fate, which is like how time and space interact. But actually I don't really understand Einstein's theories works la... it just felt like a good analogy. So don't think that I'm bragging ok... just TCSing on my blog... goodnight 2:14am a record time!

Thermal physics aid (edited)

2011-07-01T00:15:00.005+08:00

OK I KNOW EXAMS ARE OVER (CELEBRATE!)... AND I'm gonna flash some physics equations below.

WARNING! This blog post

May cause dizziness
May make you angry
May be ignored

I just want to highlight something. But if you all know already, then I'm really sorry for posting this up. Didn't mean to kill the post exam mood. For those who are taking exams, hope it helps haha.

Thermal Physics II in 5-10 minutes (good for self-revision, actually more for myself but hope it helps for you too).

Don't you feel very afraid when you see a thermal physics question with a pressure-volume graph and fix amount of moles of gas and then they tell you to find △U, △W or △Q? Don't panic, I hope this helps you (more than it helps myself hahaha).

Disclaimer: I'm not exactly pro in this topic, just intrigued in it because I find it interesting (omg hahaha) but I hope what I'm writing is correct and makes sense to you, if there's any errors please tell me tyty

Everything here refers to a system of a fixed amount of gaseous molecules.

Change in internal energy △U = Heat supplied to system △Q + Work done on system △W
Work done by system △W = Constant pressure p * Increase in volume △V
Average KE of a molecule = 1.5 (constant k) (temperature)
Total internal energy = Average KE of n moles of molecules (assuming no PE between molecules) = 3/2 (number of molecules in a mol) (constant k) (temperature) = 3/2 (n moles) (constant R) (Temperature)

Change in internal energy = 3/2 (n moles) (constant R) (Change in temperature)

The first two are the macro equations of thermal physics II... very simple and important. The 4th equation is a macro equation from the micro equation of the 3rd equation.

The last equation is what I want to highlight... it comes from equation 4. The total internal energy of n moles of molecules U equal to 3/2 nRT, since n and R are constant, we can deduce that the change in internal energy △U is therefore 3/2 nR△T, which links back to the first equation.

Hence, with △U = 3/2 nR△T, which our VJ physics lecture notes did not implicitly state (but by inference which I hope most of you can realize) from U = 3/2 nRT, as long as u have the change in temperature between stage 1 and stage 2, you can find △U without finding △W or △Q.

Furthermore, pV = nRT and so if pressure is constant while volume changes the work done △W = p△V = nR△T! Using △U = 3/2 nR△T and △W = p△V = nR△T, and △U = △Q + △W (remember that △W is conventionally negative when sub into the △U equation unless △V is negative) , △Q at a constant pressure is equal to 5/2 nR△T!!!

At constant volume, △W = p△V = 0 and hence △Q = △U = 3/2 nR△T!!!

At constant temperature, △U = 3/2 nR△T = 0 and hence △Q =△W = p△V, i.e. all the heat supplied on a system of gas is used for volume expansion without a change in temperature or total internal energy.

Additional info:

As you can see, as long as one of these (pressure, volume or temperature) is kept constant, you can always find △Q (heat supplied to a system) without much difficulty.

△U can always be found as long as you have number of moles (n) and temperature change △T.

△W is p△V at constant pressure, equivalent to the rectangular area under the pressure-volume graph. If the pressure varies uniformly with volume, the area is an triangle and can be calculated too. When you sub △W into the △U equation, △W must be negative (work done by system) if △V increases, or positive (work done on system) if △V decreases.

If △W is difficult to find, the question would usually provide the temperature change (to find △U) and also the heat supplied △Q, so you can find the △W regardless.

Ok, goodbye, goodnight.

Eargasm song...

Save The World - SHM

2011-06-29T19:45:00.001+08:00